JWA MANIA

[Omega Satyros]

A vignette begins, showing Omega stood looking in a mirror.

Omega: Relentless, The Reminiscer, The Debonair. All now famed titles. Just like Omega Satyros. The Last Satyr. It's become my name as far as any of you need to know. But, there's something there. The Last, The Final, The End...The Closer. Everyone has a role to play in Domination Inc. I know mine. Arizona, Red, DOOM, you've all already felt the brutality when I close a deal, when we finish the battle. As for you Arizona, your current quest to keep the gold ends at Super Glory at the hands of The Reminiscer. As for the Pirates of DOOM, seeing as there's no other tag team worth a damn in JWA, it'll come at the hands of The Relentless and The Closer, The Alpha and Omega, The Brutal Beginning of JWA's greatness and The Eternal Ending of anyone stupid enough to stand in our way. You chose to declare this war, and we will finish it.

---

After the vignette, "Back in Black" by AC/DC begins playing and Black Cat makes his way to the ring. He's got the AOE Hardcore Title in stow. The audience is given him his fill of grief.

Black Cat: Oh come on, are you all that upset to see me? What, jealous of championship gold? Well, just like all of you, Troglo will just has to keep this in his dreams. I was unfortunately unable to clear a Hardcore Title match for my Glory main event match with him, as AOE management is very understanding that someone would have to be unwell to offer themselves up in a hardcore match with that guy. But it just wouldn't feel right to have it defended in a proper match that isn't some kind of hardcore match. So sorry to disappoint. Of course, I'd beat the rust off of him hardcore stip or not, but why risk getting injured and being forced to vacate? Not going to happen. But as a consolation, you all can tune in to AOE Thursday Night Spotlight to see me go against Bryce Darling.

[Thumper Moore III]

May 11, 2024 23:11:46 GMT -5 Omega Satyros said:

A vignette begins, showing Omega stood looking in a mirror.

Omega: Relentless, The Reminiscer, The Debonair. All now famed titles. Just like Omega Satyros. The Last Satyr. It's become my name as far as any of you need to know. But, there's something there. The Last, The Final, The End...The Closer. Everyone has a role to play in Domination Inc. I know mine. Arizona, Red, DOOM, you've all already felt the brutality when I close a deal, when we finish the battle. As for you Arizona, your current quest to keep the gold ends at Super Glory at the hands of The Reminiscer. As for the Pirates of DOOM, seeing as there's no other tag team worth a damn in JWA, it'll come at the hands of The Relentless and The Closer, The Alpha and Omega, The Brutal Beginning of JWA's greatness and The Eternal Ending of anyone stupid enough to stand in our way. You chose to declare this war, and we will finish it.

“So, how many of you think he did a good job here?”

Arizona is lecturing students in the JWA Academy in Promos 101. “So, first, the positives: nicknaming himself The Closer is strong. I, myself, have a love of nicknames. The Icon. The Champ. The Franchise. The Mastermind, although that one never really took off. Giving yourself a nickname gives fans something to cling onto.

He also wasn’t totally pointless— he gave a clear goal. He and Conor are going to be gunning for the tag titles, and he made that very clear.

Two big mistakes though. The first mistake is that you never want to run down your competition too much. You always recognize that they are a threat, even if you think they’re not. If they’re not a threat, then your victory is meaningless. C’mon, class, what are some ways he could’ve hyped up his opponents?”

A pimply faced, skinny teenager in the back raised his hand. “Maybe that DOOM is really big and a lot of offense bounces off him?”

“YES, that’s the idea. Something like, ‘DOOM may be an immovable object, but I’m an unstoppable force.’ That one is a bit played out, but that’s the idea. Hype up the opponent to almost your level, but then explain the edge you have.

The second mistake is setting. He’s looking into a mirror. A mirror. That implies that he’s saying this to who?”

A well-muscled young man in a lucha mask spoke up. “Himself.”

“Precisely!” Arizona beamed with pride at the class. “It implies he’s speaking this to himself. I typically have promos in only two settings aside from the ring: at home in my leather chair, always with a fancy glass on a fancy table, which indicates a kind of understated flex— that I drink out of 200 year old glasses on the regular. I don’t. I have a plastic cup most of the time like the rest of us. But it’s about the image you portray. The other spot is backstage with Honest Sal on show day, and that’s because he’s the best in the biz and we have chemistry. If Sal isn’t there, or I’m with Veronica, Toni Cruise is a great second choice, she’s so dang professional. But then I’m talking about someone; at home I’m always talking TO someone. Never to myself, which is what Omega did. You don’t ever want to be known as ‘mirror guy’”.

“Mr. Chance, sir?” The pimply-faced kid had his hand raised. “Isn’t Satyros known more as the guy who hasn’t ever lost to you?”

Arizona frowned. “Come on up here, kid. What’s your name? Kevin? Well Kevin, I’ve got to ask something. What’s got a greater chance of happening: me ever beating Satyros or you ever kissing a girl? From the looks of you, I’m gonna come out ahead on that one. But don’t worry, some day, after the acne cream kicks in, you get in the weight room, put some meat on those bones, learn how to do a few moves, and then hop in the ring with me. Then you can tell a girl that for five minutes, you got in the ring with Arizona Chance and he made you his b****. Trust me, that’ll be a hell of a pickup line one day.

And Kevin— seriously, thanks for giving me a chance to demo how to improv a promo for these guys. I didn’t mean a word of it. You’re a good kid.”

[Omega Satyros]

May 12, 2024 12:43:21 GMT -5 Thumper Moore III said:

“So, how many of you think he did a good job here?”

Arizona is lecturing students in the JWA Academy in Promos 101. “So, first, the positives: nicknaming himself The Closer is strong. I, myself, have a love of nicknames. The Icon. The Champ. The Franchise. The Mastermind, although that one never really took off. Giving yourself a nickname gives fans something to cling onto.

He also wasn’t totally pointless— he gave a clear goal. He and Conor are going to be gunning for the tag titles, and he made that very clear.

Two big mistakes though. The first mistake is that you never want to run down your competition too much. You always recognize that they are a threat, even if you think they’re not. If they’re not a threat, then your victory is meaningless. C’mon, class, what are some ways he could’ve hyped up his opponents?”

A pimply faced, skinny teenager in the back raised his hand. “Maybe that DOOM is really big and a lot of offense bounces off him?”

“YES, that’s the idea. Something like, ‘DOOM may be an immovable object, but I’m an unstoppable force.’ That one is a bit played out, but that’s the idea. Hype up the opponent to almost your level, but then explain the edge you have.

The second mistake is setting. He’s looking into a mirror. A mirror. That implies that he’s saying this to who?”

A well-muscled young man in a lucha mask spoke up. “Himself.”

“Precisely!” Arizona beamed with pride at the class. “It implies he’s speaking this to himself. I typically have promos in only two settings aside from the ring: at home in my leather chair, always with a fancy glass on a fancy table, which indicates a kind of understated flex— that I drink out of 200 year old glasses on the regular. I don’t. I have a plastic cup most of the time like the rest of us. But it’s about the image you portray. The other spot is backstage with Honest Sal on show day, and that’s because he’s the best in the biz and we have chemistry. If Sal isn’t there, or I’m with Veronica, Toni Cruise is a great second choice, she’s so dang professional. But then I’m talking about someone; at home I’m always talking TO someone. Never to myself, which is what Omega did. You don’t ever want to be known as ‘mirror guy’”.

“Mr. Chance, sir?” The pimply-faced kid had his hand raised. “Isn’t Satyros known more as the guy who hasn’t ever lost to you?”

Arizona frowned. “Come on up here, kid. What’s your name? Kevin? Well Kevin, I’ve got to ask something. What’s got a greater chance of happening: me ever beating Satyros or you ever kissing a girl? From the looks of you, I’m gonna come out ahead on that one. But don’t worry, some day, after the acne cream kicks in, you get in the weight room, put some meat on those bones, learn how to do a few moves, and then hop in the ring with me. Then you can tell a girl that for five minutes, you got in the ring with Arizona Chance and he made you his b****. Trust me, that’ll be a hell of a pickup line one day.

And Kevin— seriously, thanks for giving me a chance to demo how to improv a promo for these guys. I didn’t mean a word of it. You’re a good kid.”

Another student spoke up. "Mr. Chance, sorry to interrupt, but I took this promo to be more similar to the last time he did a mirror promo. One that reflected some change in his character, as well as if you see his eyes in the reflection, just like in his promo from Glory 180, they aren't looking back at himself, but to the camera. To me this suggests that he's not directly wanting to pay either the audience, you or the Pirates of DOOM the respect of addressing them directly, while still getting the message he wants to across."

The lucha-mask student piped in "Well, I guess you could take it that way, but does Omega really deserve that kind of an interpretation?"

The first student replied, "Not really, but I feel it's a bit less biased. No offense Mr. Chance, but Omega has shown a precedent for using the mirror to obfuscate how others will interpret his promo, just look at how Diablo took that Glory promo."

Lucha-mask cut back in before Arizona could, "And who are you to be saying that."

"The guy who's dad Omega embarrassed for the last month of his in-ring career, Ángel Real. I'm like to not see Mr. Chance or the Pirates of DOOM to fall into that same trap."

[Bad Luck Bradley]

[Artemis]

Lady Diana Gallus vs. Rough Reba Dean

Desmond: Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to a special Memorial Day episode of JWA Mania! We've got a packed show including Lady Diana Gallus stepping in the ring with current AOE Ladies Television Champion "Rough" Reba Dean with her latest squeeze Ed Chancellor. Not only was Reba the woman who ended Artemis's record-breaking Ladies TV Championship reign, but she's a few months away from breaking the record itself.

Puttergill: Well, even if Diana somehow manages to steal a win from Reba, there's no jeopardy for that as this isn't a title match. Artemis could take her out, I'm not sure Diana can.

The bell rings as Reba brings the ground game to Diana, delivering brutal MMA strikes. Diana knocked down to the mat and Reba immediately tries to lock in an Armbar. Diana manages to prevent it from cinching in. Ed Chancellor is on the ring apron, holding the Ladies TV belt. Both women are on their feet. Diana ducks a punch which sails right into Ed's face, sending him to the floor.

Desmond: Reba, knowing how close Diana and Artemis are must've been expecting some of her experience taking on the Goddess to translate. But Diana's got a decent bit more speed in her frame.

Puttergill: But she doesn't have the power needed to take out someone the likes of Reba Dean, or Jessie Aldean for that matter.

Reba tries to grab Diana for a Coquina Clutch, but Diana manages to use the ropes for leverage, nailing a cutter. Ed tries again to distract the ref, but receives baseball slide from Diana, shutting him up. Diana climbs up to the top rope, landing a Piercing Arrow to Reba's chest. She goes for the pin. Reba kicks out just before 3. Diana locks in an Armbar. Reba tries to reach the ropes, but the ref catches Ed trying to push the bottom rope towards her and sends him to the back. Reba manages to escape the Armbar and argues with the ref, only to fall victim to a roll-up for the three count.

Desmond: Hard fought win for Diana as she goes into her match with Jessie Aldean.

Puttergill: My money's on JWA's resident beauty queen.

[Omega Satyros]

Puttergill: And now we have a special 8-man elimination tag match. The survivors on the winning team will go on to compete against each other to determine the #1 contender for Black Cat's AOE Hardcore Title.

Desmond: Yep, we've got Southern Tropic; Marvelo, Seaside Chugger, King Solomon, and Kongo Kid against The Wild Horses, Joel and Jonny Powell, and the Malarkey Brothers, William and Randall.

Puttergill: I'll tell you, the former Hunters of Artemis have a tall, tall task ahead of them if they want a crack at Black Cat.

"Back in Black" by ACDC sounds and Black Cat makes his way down to the commentary table, flanked by Amari Fang.

Desmond: Black Cat, could you tell us why you engineered this matchup?

Black Cat: Honestly, to teach the washout ex-Hunters to keep out of my way. And to let Amari watch next week as the faction that betrayed him tear each other apart for a shot at this.

The bell rings, and Seaside Chugger starts the match against Randall Malarkey, lands a drop kick on Chugger, but doesn't manage to knock the big guy over. Chugger picked Malarkey up for a Mudslide, only for Randall to roll through for a surprise pin. A 4-3 advantage that's soon wiped out as King Solomon enters the ring and nails Randall with The Final Judgement. Solomon quickly tagged in Kongo Kid as Joel entered the ring. Joel takes the brief moment to flirt with Queen Sheba, who immediately gets up on the apron, trying to get into his face. While Rothburn Sallie tries to calm down Sheba, Kongo Kid turns Joel around, only to get met with the Ganymede Mist. Joel tags Jonny and the Wild Horses deliver a double buck-kick, planting a dazed Kongo. Jonny picks up the pin on Kongo Kid.

Desmond: Well, things with Artemis might've not worked out, but the ex-Hunters seem to be working together decently well, taking out half of Southern Tropic's team.

Marvelo enters the ring, delivering Simply Marvelous to Jonny Powell, again evening the odds. William Randall enters the ring, quickly eating a Hardstone Hook, sending the ex-Hunters from a 3-2 advantage to a 1-2 deficit. Marvelo's in his team's corner sizing Joel up for another Simply Marvelous, but King Solomon tags himself in. Marvelo concedes to his king, knowing why.

Puttergill: Joel's going to regret that flirting with Solomon's Queen. I think we can pencil down Solomon vs. Marvelo for...

Nala Fang's music hits, and Amari gets up from beside Black Cat. Nala marches up to Queen Sheba, and hits Nightfall on her. King Solomon is irate as he leaves the ring to check on Sheba. Nala and Amari back off from Sheba as Solomon gets her to her feet and begins helping her to the back. Marvelo takes both Fangs out diving from the apron before turning his attention back to Joel, who had gotten to the top turnbuckle. He catches Joel's attempted diving elbow drop with a vicious Hardstone Hook. He picks up the pin and the win. Black Cat joins Amari and Nala.

Black Cat: I'm disappointed, I expected more out of Southern Tropic than to have one lone survivor against the likes of that. You get a shot at my title, but the Black-Fang Clan isn't going to make it easy on you.

[Omega Satyros]

Puttergill: Welcomes ladies and gentlemen to JWA Mania. We've got one hell of a show for you as tag champ Red Pirate Rogers looks to tune up before his big match against Conor Caine on Glory. 

Desmond: But first we've got a special similcast with AOE's Sports Entertainment Live as Amari and Nala of the Black-Fang Clan take on King Solomon and Queen Sheba of Southern Tropic. We send it over to Caliburn and Cabb.

---

Caliburn: For those just joining us from JWA, we welcome you as we're about to start the action.

Cabb: Solomon and Sheba are doing a crap job running that Isle of Capricorn. They could've avoided all this mess if they didn't alienate Amari and Nala in favor of Marvelo.

The bell rings and Nala starts off against Sheba. The Queen of Capricorn has a real chip on her shoulder after last week's display. She gets the early advantage on Nala, nailing a pair of brutal kicks before locking her into a Boston Crab. Amari manages to get in and break it up. From there, the match breaks down as Solomon enters the ring and nails Amari with a nasty piledriver. The ref is trying to regain control of the match, forcing Solomon out of the ring while Amari powders out.

Cabb: The Fangs just aren't on Solomon's and Sheba's level tonight. It's unfortunate for them, but when the Capricorn King and Queen are in the zone, there's nearly nothing that can hold them back.

Caliburn: That may be at their expense if they can't stay cool enough to not get DQed. Unlike Marvelo and Black Cat's match at Beach Brawl, this one isn't under hardcore stipulations.

Black Cat begins rushing to the ring, followed by the likes of Wally Saratoga, Pete Sinclair, Sir Fauntleroy, and Ed Chancellor. He enters the ring, followed by attempted challengers for his Hardcore belt. Solomon has no patience for Black Cat's antics and rushes him with a clothesline, taking out the rabble after Black Cat ducks the blow. Marvelo makes his way to ringside as Black Cat situates himself near the Fangs.

Caliburn: Black Cat taking advantage of the 24/7 stipulations on the Hardcore Title, letting Solomon take out his pursuers for him while interrupting Southern Tropic's momentum.

Cabb: And it couldn't have come at a better time.

Sheba tags in Solomon, who glares down at Nala Fang. Nala uses her speed to get to her corner for separation, Amari just making it back onto the apron to tag in. Nala ducks from a charging Solomon, who goes sternum first into the turnbuckles. Amari goes up to the top rope, delivering a five-star frog splash. Sheba tries to break up, but Black Cat pulls her off the apron. Marvelo, incensed by it, rushes the ring to break it up himself, resulting in a DQ win.

Cabb: And a cerebral win for Black-Fang Clan. Say what you want, Black Cat gave them the edge going into Beach Brawl.

Caliburn: Well, like this match, the Hardcore Title match between Black Cat and Marvelo will be similcast with JWA's Super Glory Pre-Show.

Cabb: We let them use our Hardcore Title for months and we can't even get a main show match?

Caliburn: Don't be like that, you know it's because our PPVs go on earlier, that's just how the timing works out. Tune in June 11th for both shows. Back to you on Mania, Desmond and Putts.

---

Puttergill: Haven't I told him not to call me Putts?

[Red Pirate Rogers]

We join the action as Rogers is mid-entrance.

Puttergill: It’s been a bit since our JWA Maniacs have seen Red Pirate Roberts in action, but Randall Malarkey’s a familiar face.

Desmond: too familiar, you saw Omega’s post, Malarkey just got buried by King Solomon. Rogers has chosen an easy outing here

Puttergill: he wanted to help expand the tag division!

Desmond: but he won’t face Kenny Wynn or Chase Victory.

Puttergill: he might still be mad about the whole mutiny-thing.

Desmond: man, we’ve got some bad blood in the tag scene don’t we (the bell rings)

Puttergill: that’s a very generous understatement as we get underway, and an arm drag from Malarkey. He did score a pin against Seaside Chugger last week, could the tides be turning?
(A quick chain of holds and reverses sees Randall trying to submit RPR, Red Pirate trying to make Randall submit and Randall going for another pin, only for Rogers to escape right after the 2 count)

Desmond: Malarkey getting reminded of what makes Rogers so slippery here, but he could…nope never mind

(Malarkey’s pursuit of Rogers backfires with a surprising whip into the corner, then he catches a dazed Malarkey and gives him a power slam before climbing the turnbuckle and leaping for the Cliffs of Craziness)

Puttergill: can’t say I’m too surprised here but Red Pirate Rogers emerges victorious! And, yes looks like he’s going to take the microphone.

RPR: (between heavy breaths) before anything else, please join me in tipping your cap to a worthy competitor in Mr. Randall Malarkey…(fans look confused)…as I always say, you don’t have to win matches to make the night memorable. Sometimes you work to help others, to build them up, and for that, tonight, I salute you Randall. (Cheers confuse the perennial loser Randall Malarkey, who nods modestly and leaves the ring)

Ladies and gentlemen, mark that, professional and supportive….I strive to do the same…not to dominate, not to hog the spotlight, to share it, spread it, guide others to do their best. That’s what I endeavored to do with my colorful crew, that’s what I hope to offer young DOOM, and that’s what makes me so sick of the Waste of Spades, Connor Caine (boos).

You all saw it. The man could have shared the ring with me, we could have burnt I’m the place down, but rather than risk his cubit wide ego, he attempted to weasel his way out of it and prefer to avoid being in a ring with me, just typing his measly whimpers into the echo chamber of social media. (Boo)…well Connor, there’s no hiding now. I’ll finally see you in here at Glory and do us all a favor and leave the chirping to the parakeets, eh?

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

"I talk a lot of sh** but I can back it all the f*** up!"

Conor Caine's music hits and the fans begin booing instantly. Rogers turns to the curtain in mock surprise, like "Is Conor Caine actually going to say something my face for a change?"

But just as the music plays a little too long for this to be a legit entrance, just as Rogers realizes this is a set up, Caine is already sliding under the bottom rope behind Red, having come through the audience...

Desmond: A sneak attack! Rogers has sensed it--

But not soon enough! Rogers turns as Conor brings the chair down full force on his head. If the sound of the chair on Red's skull isn't enough to convey the catastrophic damage, the sight of The Crimson Corsair dropping like a sack of potatoes removes any doubt.

Conor isn't done, he wails on Roger's body as officials come running to ringside. Conor holds them at bay with the chair and they back off. He drops the chair in the middle of the ring and goes to Rogers unconscious body. The officials try to intervene but some stiff right hands from Conor knocks them from the apron to the floor. With enough space between himself and any meddling staffers, Conor hoists Rogers up in a cruxifix powerbomb position and performs a Crucifix Powerbomb/reverse Mishinoku Driver combination, drilling Red headfirst into the chair.

Puttergill: The Charismatomic Bomb - Caine's finisher from his early days on the indies!
Desmond: That impact on Rogers! We need medics out here now!

It's a grizzly scene and the audience share their disgust in the appalling chants they hurl at Caine, who is busy taking up Rogers' mic.

Caine: Fair or unfair, you're getting beaten either way, Rogers! The only mercy I could afford you was the option to fall in line with the new regime,  but you and Whistler had to throw it back in my face! Well, I told you there'd be a reckoning and this is it!

Conor turns to the hard cam...

Caine: Kip Whistler, if I say a match isn't going to happen due to injury THEN THE MATCH ISN'T GONNA HAPPEN DUE TO INJURY! Since you forced my hand, it's Red Pirate Rogers who's injured. That's on you. Now you're gonna have to find another match to book for Glory this week, and Rogers is gonna have to hope he's recovered in time for Super Glory so Omega Satyros and I can take the tag titles from him and DOOM. Let this be a lesson to you all: fall in line or get crushed under the bootheels of Domination Inc!

With that, this week's show goes off the air.

[Omega Satyros]

Desmond: Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to JWA Mania. We're mere days away from a stacked Super Glory.

Puttergill: That we do. And Domination Inc. look keen going into all there matches, and Duke's gotta be a shoo-in to win with Johnny Kobra out of the picture.

Desmond: Before we get too ahead of ourselves, we've still got a show for you all tonight. Starting off with some Domination Inc. action as Omega Satyros teams up with Black Cat, maybe the single person he's closest to on this JWA roster.

Puttergill: How dare you insinuate any issues within Domination Inc. The Black-Fang Clan are on good terms with them. No reason for your stupid speculation. I hope Omega heard you so he can be extra motivated as he and Black Cat take on Suddenly Seymour and Earl Jackson, this is going to be quick and brutal. The Pirates of DOOM better be watching this one closely.

"Andromeda" By Satyr plays as Omega and Black Cat make their way to the ring.

Puttergill: This will be more than just a sign of what's to come this week at Super Glory, but next week when the Killie's Crew of Pierre and Troglo take these two on.

The Bell rings, and Omega and Black Cat immediately take the fight to Earl Jackson. Suddenly Seymour tries to get some shots in, landing a punch to Omega's back, which just got Omega's attention onto him, and a Satyr Kick absolutely flattening him.

Desmond: It's hard to believe Omega and Seymour started out on the JWA roster at about the same time.

Puttergill: Yeah, Seymour's a punk who's done nothing with the spot given to him, while Omega's with Domination Inc. at the top of the company.

Black Cat nails a Lights Out DDT on Earl Jackson and rolls him up beside Seymour as Omega heads to the top rope. Black Cat heads up the opposite corner. Black Cat goes first with a Shooting Star Press, followed by Omega's Satyr Sault. Both moves crush the life out of their opponents and Omega goes for the pin.

Puttergill: And it's a 3 count that could've gone for 10. Pierre and Troglo better look out, because Glory won't be so glorious for them. And that goes double for the Pirates of DOOM.

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

DESMOND: Welcome to a very special edition of JWA Mania!
PUTTERGILL: This past week’s Super Glory saw an earth-shattering climax, when Arizona Chance ended his record-breaking third JWA Championship title reign with a controversial loss to Winter Hex and went on to shock the world by hanging up his boots!
DESMOND: That’s right, Rodd. The living legend has retired and on tonight’s Mania we’re going to honour his legacy by revisiting some of the best matches and moments in his storied career; and his peers will be putting on tribute matches here in the studio, as well as sharing stories and well wishes for The Franchise.
PUTTERGILL: And the first of those well wishes comes from, surprisingly, Conor Caine…

Conor’s already in the ring: he stands under a single spotlight, dressed in an all-black version of his new dapper attire, with his head down and a mic in his hand. Although blacked out, we can tell the studio is filled to capacity, due to the volume of boos aimed towards the ring. Conor waits for them to quiet, heaves a heavy sigh and raises the mic to his lips.

CAINE: Something historic happened this week on Super Glory… Arizona Chance wrestled his last match.

Conor removes his sunglasses and to see how this is affecting him brings the audience to silence.

CAINE: I’ve talked many times before about what an inspiration Arizona was to me as a child, how he inspired me to become a professional wrestler. So I’m going through a lot of emotions right now, but the one I came here to talk about tonight is… gratitude.

A “Thank You, Cha-Ance!” chant breaks out and the crowd works itself into a frenzy. Conor gets visibly emotional as he looks around them, nodding in agreement. Seeing it, the fans cheer and stomp their feet. Conor fights back tears to continue.

CAINE: Thank you Arizona. You have left the JWA in a better place. A better place because we no longer have to watch you stink out the joint with your broke ass!

Conor laughs gleefully and puts his shades back on as the crowd boo him to hell and throw trash at him.

CAINE: The historic thing that happened this week wasn’t the long overdue retirement of some old has-been! It was the crowning of our first female JWA Champion: “The Reminiscer” Winter Hex! Did you think I came out here to eulogize the man who took my JWA Title and ran it into the dirt?! No, you morons, I’m here to congratulate the woman who’s not only put respect back on the belt, but she’s going to raise it to all-new heights!

More trash reigns into the ring.

CAINE: Alright, alright, you sycophants - you want me to say something about your precious Arizona Chance? Fine! I want to say sorry to you Arizona! …Sorry I didn’t get to stomp your ass harder in that title match - but we have one person to thank for that, don’t we?! Your little buddy, Red Pirate Rogers! First The Professional Wrestler of DOOM denies Omega and I a fair shot at the tag titles - pinning us outside for a cheap count-out - but then Rogers has to get in the way of me giving Arizona a farewell foot in the ass! Well, I’ve had enough of The Pirates Of DOOM getting in our way. We’re going to run this tag title match back one more time, and - this time - Domination Inc won’t be denied!

Fade to commercials.

[Omega Satyros]

After the commercials.

Desmond: We return from our break with Arizona's return match on this last run. From Glory #153, Arizona Chance vs Omega Satyros

The highlights of the match play out on the JerkTron, every bit of incidental advantage for Omega playing much differently now, near 10 months later.

Puttergill: Arizona's had plenty of rivalries these past four years in JWA, but on this last run, no one on the roster faced Arizona more than Omega Satyros. And according to Omega, Arizona never properly got one over on him either.

Desmond: What started as a friendly rivalry turned bitter following Omega's descent to villainy. Winter may have been the one to get the last win over The Franchise, but Omega's been something of a through-line for his entire last run. Makes you wonder what the real reason is he didn't join in on the fracas towards the end of the Super Glory main event.

Puttergill: Ask Lady Diana, BJ Chump, or Peter Dabrowski. All signs point to him being unable to reserve his frustration over DOOM ruining the Tag Title Match for Arizona. And the entire Chance Family oughta be glad, I'm not sure Arizona would've been able to walk out of the ring if Omega also got his hands on him.

"Andromeda" By Satyr plays, and Omega makes his way down to the ring to a chorus of boos. He's, like Conor, is sporting an all-black version of his newest attire.

Omega: Let me be real here for a second. I'd genuinely like to give Arizona my utmost thanks and congratulations. I can't deny the extensive career and accomplishments you've racked up. So congratulations...

The crowd is hushed, confused at Omega's unexpectedly respectful tone.

Omega: ...on finally learning your lesson and stepping out of the ring so the proper stars of today can properly shine without your C-list ass hogging the spotlight. Thank you for realizing it was time to pack your bag and go home. If only others from your era could realize the same thing. I've already closed the book on Diablo. Winter sent your ass back to Tombstone. And soon, The Crimson Castoff will walk the plank, weighed down by 450 pound of pure, grade-f beefed buffoon, never to sully the seas or our eyes again. Two retirees put to pasture. One to go. I'm sure you'll do great working backstage and teaching promo classes. So happy trails and, genuinely, "Thank You Arizona".

The fans boo Omega's disdainful disrespect.

Omega: But, before I go. There is that 'One to go' that needs to be addressed, so listen here Rogers. I've got golden ichor running through my veins, Conor has a burning fury for mediocrity running through his, while you and DOOM have salt-water and soda respectively. You will fall to The Alpha and Omega. Domination Inc. will put a close to the Pirates of DOOM. You may have managed to snag an extension, but it's undeniable; your time has come due.

[Omega Satyros]

Desmond: And our first match is the Arizona Chance Mania Battle Royal. We've gathered nearly every man who Arizona stepped in this ring for a match on Mania with. And, thanks to AOE, Black Cat's Hardcore Title is on the line.

Puttergill: All but one. DOOM isn't in this matchup as he recovers from Super Glory and prepares for the assumed upcoming match with The Alpha and Omega.

Peter Dabrowski, Chase Victory, Kenny Wynn, Barney Burrowitt, Earl "The Pearl" Washington, BJ Chump, and Earl Jackson are already in the ring. "Back in Black" by ACDC plays and Black Cat walks out, looking annoyed to be forced to defend his title in this match. He grabs the mic before entering the ring.

Black Cat: Arizona, one of the best moments of my career was getting to share this ring with you. And while you were thoroughly unable to show me due respect by only looking at me in the view of the worst moments of my career, I hope to do better in respecting you in this match.

Black Cat entered the ring, and every other competitor looked at him with a distinct sense of annoyance. Once the bell rung, they all rushed the Hardcore champ, eventually picking him up and launching him as far as possible, in this instance onto the announce table, which he bounced on with a sickening thud.

Puttergill: Everyone was in such a frenzied rush to get Black Cat out of the ring, they hurled him to just about the one place here ringside he could avoid outright elimination.

Desmond: Or the expected him to go through our table here. Lucky for him the table didn't break.

Peter Dabrowski and BJ Chump are quick outs following their injuries from only a few nights before. Chase and Kenny are looking like the strongest shots to win after taking out Earl "The Pearl" Washington. Barney Burrowitt nails a clothesline on Earl Jackson. Chase and Kenny send him over the top rope. Black Cat turns to Puttergill, asking for his chair. Puttergill happily obliges.

Desmond: Really Rodd?

Puttergill: What? He's still legally in the match, who am I to to screw him over?

Black Cat takes the chair, using one leg to roll himself over to the ring, getting back in as Chase and Kenny turn to him. The tandem grab Black Cat, looking to hurl him over the ropes again. Black Cat manage to hold on the top rope as Chase and Kenny turn around to celebrate. Black Cat manages to flip around, grabbing Kenny in a head scissors and dragging him over the top rope, to the floor. The two eventually battle over to the ropes, Black Cat nailing a lariat that sends both men over the top rope, crashing to the ground.

Desmond: What, who won, it's too close to tell!

Puttergill: A ref is rushing down the entrance to Angela Apex, insisting Chase's feet landed first. The bell rings and Black Cat is declared the winner.

Desmond: Wait, that's the masked ref who drove off with Black Cat! How can he be trusted with that call?

Puttergill: I don't see any other ref disputing it, the bell rang and the call stands. Black Cat escapes this match by the skin of his teeth, and he joins Omega against Pierre The Enormous and Troglo this week on Glory. I don't envy Pierre and Troglo. Omega's might outright kick them back a couple of decades to their heyday in the 80s.

[Pierre The Enormous]

*Troglo and I are back to the grind with training this time we're throwing tires as far as we can*

Troglo; *grunts and throws a tire 20 yards away*

Pierre: *I throw the tire as if it were a frisbee and it lands near the first tire*

Troglo: *grabs another tire thumps his chest and launches the tire sending it into the horizon*

Pierre: *I belly laugh as the tire finally hits the ground with a thud*

Troglo: *thumps his chest and roars which echoes*

Pierre: *I roar as well*

[Thumper Moore III]

RODD PUTTERGILL: Welcome to JWA Mania! We have just received word from Kip Whistler about JWA’s newest signing, and he’ll be joining us on Glory this week for his first match against Peter Dobrowski. While I can’t divulge everything— mainly because Mr. Whistler hasn’t yet told me— I have been told that this new face has filmed a promo that will be played right now!

In a dark room, with face obscured, a very muscular man stands facing directly at the camera. He flexes his pecs, and though the darkness obscures the figure somewhat, he appears to be absolutely massive. A deep, composed voice issues the following edict:

Ladies and gentlemen of the JWA, as well as the spectators of this great sport: Greetings and salutations. When you see me this Tuesday, your concerns about whether anyone can stand up to the faction known as Domination Inc will undoubtedly be assuaged. I look forward to this opportunity against Peter Dobrowski so that you may revel in my splendor.

PUTTERGILL: We’ll see on Tuesday whether those words will be backed up by this erudite and well spoken gentleman. Now, on to preliminary wrestling action with Kenny Wynn facing off against Wally Saratoga.