MIDWEEK MISC - PART II

[Pierre The Enormous]

*I lumber my way into Killies*

Jackson: Hey big guy *he wraps his arms around me*

Pierre: *I wrap my arms around Jackson* hey Jax....

Jackson: Zona wants to talk to ya

Pierre: Okay....

[Thumper Moore III]

Arizona sees Penguino waddle over. “Hell of a match tonight. Shame one of us had to lose.”

Penguino’s head dropped. “Easy to say when it wasn’t you.”

Arizona hands over the drink he had Jackson prepare. “This’ll help take your mind off it. But I wanted to tell you two things. First, I appreciate you not blasting me with whatever Johnny handed you. You’re a good dude. And secondly, I’m so glad to have seen your family— or what I assume is your family, since you called them dad and brother and such. I hope they’re proud of you— they should be.”

Arizona excuses himself for a moment and walks over to Pierre’s table. “Hey big guy. Tough luck tonight. First keg’s on me.”

“I had him…”

“You did. But you’ve got an opponent next week who is much smaller.”

“Who?”

Arizona smiled at the giant. “Me. I just wanted to tell you good luck, and may the smallest man win.” Arizona reaches over for a handshake, and gets pulled into a constricting bear hug.

“I’ll squeeze you gentle now, cause next week I have to squeeze harder.”

“You’ll have to catch me first, big guy.” Arizona releases the hug, but Pierre hangs on a little longer, leaving Zona gasping a bit.

[Chad Shredsbury]

Chesterton Shredsbury walks up to the table as Pierre releases his hug from Arizona.

Chesterton. Partner, I’m dreadfully sorry about your luck tonight. And Aribrona. Fine match indeed, mate.

Chance. Thank you, Chesterton.

Pierre. I’m going to squash him like big next week. (Pierre laughs as he sucks down a beer). But you won big, little bro.

Chesterton. Thanks, brother. It feels good to be off to a strong start. But I’ll totally need to stay sharp if I want to win this J1, and not rest on an early win… even against Rogers. But enough of that. Allow me to join you lads for a drink, please.

Chance. Of course. There’s a lot to be happy about. And a lot to look forward to.

Chesterton. Indeed. Cheers, mates.

[Pierre The Enormous]

Pierre: Cheers *I chug my beer and let out a thunderous belch*

Chesterton: *laughs*

Pierre: *I belly laugh while I give Chesterton a noogie*

Chesterton: *he playfully jabs my belly to get free*

Pierre: *I belly laugh as I let go*

[Penguino]

After speaking with Arizona Penguino who is obviously still upset marches out of killies followed by Johnny Kobra who is pretty much pleading with Penguino forgive him but instead gets a hard chop for his troubles.

[Red Pirate Rogers]

Back at the JWA studios, in the champ's locker room, Rogers is pulling on his street shoes while Tabu rests, with a duffel bag at his side. Jessie is still visibly upset about the outcome.

Jessie: You had him! I'm sure you had him! I can't believe Haberdashery missed it. You should appeal it to Kip. Ask for it be reset and done again.

RPR: Dear heart, I appreciate you taking my side, but I have no problem admitting that tonight was Chesterton's night. I've lost before, I'll lose again, to less worthy fighters than Shredsbury. As Billy Pilgrim might say, "so it goes."

Jessie: (exasperated) honey, I don't know puritan history like you do, but I do know not to roll over and accept what I don't think is fair.

RPR: (standing and holding her) You're new to this, beloved. Your passion is well founded. I know that one match doesn't change the course of the stars, I'm going to help Tabu to his cab and then we'll go have a quiet dinner, okay? (she closes her eyes and nods)

(Rogers walks out with Tabu)

Tabu: Thanks for having me back, it was a pleasure to see you work.

Rogers: You're always welcome, sorry I couldn't do the Red Pirate legacy prouder than I did.

Tabu: I'm not worried about the Red Pirate, I'm worried about you. (Rogers pauses, confused) I know you joke, but I also know when you put your heart into something you invest in a way you can't always recover. Remember what you value...and make sure those who share your life do the same. (Tabu leaves and Rogers is alone in the dark, thinking)

[Dark Mauler]

In a local medical facility, Tommy End finally wakes up. The bruises, welts, and cuts on his body hurt, but the humiliation hurts worse.
*Red Oni: Weak. Pathetic. You called Insane the poor man’s Tommy End, and yet you lost to one of his brainless lackeys.*
Tommy End: I did everything in my power to win that fight, Demon.
*Red Oni: Everything in your power? A laughable excuse. The Tommy End that won the JWA title would have switched strategies and won that match. The Tommy End that first donned the Oni mask wouldn’t have even needed to do that. You didn’t exhibit the resourcefulness of the first or the brutality of the second.
Tommy End: What are you suggesting I do?
*Red Oni: Get out of this bed, and get ready to win this tournament. Yo I don’t want to be back where you were a few months ago.*
Tommy sits up, and a wave of pain hits. Fighting through it, Tommy reaches for his suitcase, and manages to pull it onto the bed.
*Red Oni: You know what you need to do now.*
Tommy knows all too well. Reaching into his suitcase, Tommy pulls out a vial of red mist. Uncorking the vial, the Dutch Destroyer downs the liquid in one go, and immediately collapses back onto his bed, excruciating pain wracking his body. As Tommy fades back into unconsciousness, he hears the voice of the demon one last time.
*Red Oni: This is the only way.*
A few hours later, a nurse enters the room to check on Tommy. He’s not there. The shattered remains of the mist vial are the only sign the room had been occupied at all.

[Pierre The Enormous]

*JWA.com Exclusive video*

*Outside of Killie's there's animalistic grunts heard*

Pierre: *I let out grunts as I hoist kegs in the air* OOK! OOK! OOK!

Jackson: Keep going big guy!

Pierre: *I hoist the biggest keg over my head with ease and smash it on the ground*

Jackson: *cheers me on*

Pierre: *I thump my chest and grunt* OOK! OOK! OOK! OOK! OOK!

Jackson: Man you're strong

Pierre: Thanks you're strong too

Jackson: Not as strong as you but I'm getting there *he flexes*

Pierre: *I flex and give him a bearhug* FRIEND HUG!!!!

Jackson: *laughs and bell claps me to get himself free*

Pierre: Ears hurt.....

Jackson: Sorry bout that guess I don't know my own strength..... *he winks*

[“The Relentless” Conor Caine]

BUZZ-FED.COM EXCLUSIVE
RELENTLESS ABUSE: CONOR CAINE'S PLIGHT AT THE HAND'S OF INSANE
The Enigmatic Madman has returned to make The Relentless One's life a misery, but is there hope for Conor Caine?
BY SCOTT MILLAR

Last week, at Guts & Gory, Conor Caine's cage match with The Compound's Brother Seph ended in something of a swerve: Caine, the victor, got his wish when he won the match, the unmasking of Brother Abel, but at the same time received much more than he bargained for! Despite escaping the cage, Caine was pursued by Brother Seph, beaten senseless and thrown him back in the ring for the match finale. Unfortunately for Conor Caine, it wasn't the climax to Caine's grand plan but, it transpired, just a milestone in the scheme of Brother Abel.

With Caine subdued, Brother Abel removed his mask to reveal that, all this time, he has been Insane: Conor Caine's mortal enemy from his time in Big Japan! It seemed that, despite the outcome of the match, Insane was always going to have his way: while he unmasked for Caine - who seemed equally shocked, enraged and horrified to see the man who had made his life hell the past few years return - Insane put his mask on Conor, brainwashing Caine the same way Insane has to Seph Kobane. Rising to his feet and joining The Compound, Brother Conor was born!

This week on Glory, the first week of the prestigious J-1 Tournament, Brother Conor was debuted in a No Holds Barred Match against Tommy End - a match that saw End don a familiar mask of his own - and the next level of Insane's plans for Caine were revealed. Beforehand, Insane took a moment to explain to the audience that while his presence in the lives of Seph Kobane and Conor Caine might seem like an implausible plot, it actually wasn't: it was coincidence. As Insane put it, he just likes torturing children in a cult as much as he enjoys torturing grown men in a wrestling ring.  Fate or, as Insane put it, "God" just put Caine and Kobane together in the JWA, and Insane saw an opportunity  to exact his revenge on two victims that escaped him.  While Insane's vengeance on Seph Kobane seems to stop at enslaving "The Truth" and having him do Insane's bidding, The Enigmatic Madman has more sadistic plans for Conor Caine.


After a hard fought and bloody match, Brother Caine defeated Tommy End with a gruesome Fireman's Carry/Neckbreaker combination that's been dubbed "Sudden Death" and Insane instructed his new servant to perform the move again on End, and referee Panther Haberdashery. With The Dutchman and the official both down, Insane then had Brother Conor's mask removed so that Conor Caine could see the damage he had done while under Insane's control. Caine looked tortured to see the scene before him, but only for a brief moment, as Insane whispered something into Caine's ear, laughed maniacally and then put the mask on Caine's face, returning the consciousness of The Relentless One to the void.  It's a horrible torment for a man that we know has tried recently to rise above his violent ways. With the powerful masks in his possession and both Brother Conor and Brother Seph under his control, Insane seems well protected from the consequences of his actions.

However...

While fans in the arena and at home watched, as helpless as Conor Caine himself, one man in Japan saw what was going on and decided to take action.  James Seltzer of Grappling Watcher Weekly (GWW) reports that Caine's former trainer in Big Japan, Hito Kizuato, is making his way to America to confront Insane and hopefully free his former student from the clutches of the Enigmatic Madman. Can he get to Conor ahead of the scheduled match between Brother Conor and Chesterton Shredsbury this week? Stay turned to buzz-fed.com to find out!


Read more from the JWA on Buzz-Fed.com:
End in the wind! Where is The Dutch Destroyer?!
Putter-Will Power: Rod Puttergill refuses to tap to Arizona Chance!
Veil to the Chief: Who is the mysterious character keeping Chief Buffalo in the dark? (Our 5 best guesses!)

[Thumper Moore III]

Nov 4, 2022 4:24:35 GMT -5 Pierre The Enormous said:

*JWA.com Exclusive video*

*Outside of Killie's there's animalistic grunts heard*

Pierre: *I let out grunts as I hoist kegs in the air* OOK! OOK! OOK!

Jackson: Keep going big guy!

Pierre: *I hoist the biggest keg over my head with ease and smash it on the ground*

Jackson: *cheers me on*

Pierre: *I thump my chest and grunt* OOK! OOK! OOK! OOK! OOK!

Jackson: Man you're strong

Pierre: Thanks you're strong too

Jackson: Not as strong as you but I'm getting there *he flexes*

Pierre: *I flex and give him a bearhug* FRIEND HUG!!!!

Jackson: *laughs and bell claps me to get himself free*

Pierre: Ears hurt.....

Jackson: Sorry bout that guess I don't know my own strength..... *he winks*

”Dear God, he’s gotten even… stronger?” Arizona closes his laptop and turns to Veronica. “Honey, if he turns me into a pancake on Glory, will you still love me?”

“With butter and maple syrup, yes.” Veronica smiles at Arizona. “I can’t believe you’re even in this tournament after everything you went through.”

Arizona walks over and embraces Veronica. “Thank you for keeping quiet during the whole ordeal. To not post anything on social media, to keep it strictly to business with your friends… you were a perfect partner for me through this.” As Arizona leans in for a kiss, he feels a tug on his leg.

He looks down and see Madison, his pant leg in one hand and teddy bear in the other. She begins scolding her father. “Daddy no cancake. Daddy person. No cancake!! Maddie want cancake. We eat cancake?”

“She is very persuasive, like her mother. Want to go out for breakfast?”

[Thumper Moore III]

Arizona’s Digifoto

Arizona is in his home gym on an elliptical machine, a huge amount of sweat underneath his workout fedora.

“This is normally the part of the week where I cut some long winded promo about my opponent’s weaknesses, and how I’ll exploit them. But this week, I only want to say this— good luck at Glory, Pierre. May the best man win.”

Arizona tips his fedora to the camera and continues his training.

[JWA Backstage]

Unbeknownst to Hito Kizuato, he had had the same conversation with Yuppie VP that his apprentice, Conor Caine, had just a week or so ago, when he arrived at JWA Studio searching for the whereabouts of The Compound; “No idea, no address on file.”

VP seemed like a good man. He shared with Kizuato his sorrow at the fate of Conor Caine, and the young Seph Kobane - who Kizuato didn’t know but had no reason to doubt was just as undeserving of his enslavement to Insane as Conor.
VP then turned his thoughts toward the “Enegmatic Madmad” and Kizuato could tell that Yuppie had his own grievance with Insane: it was not a surprise, as Insane habitually added to his collection of enemies. Kizuato had his own share of grievances too. He measured his displeasure with ‘that greasey demon’ in the miles of thread spent sewing closed the flesh of Conor Caine; every stitch turning the bright-eyed ‘Charismatic One’ colder and deader inside, until Kizuato felt he was more a mortician than a medic.

Kizuato recalled the years before Conor Caine arrived at Big Japan, grass-green, to Insane’s debut. A malignant narcissist from the start, Insane heralded his own arrival with a self-aggrandisement that grossly overestimated his talent. “Unsafe” was quickly the whisper around the locker room. Not much later it became undeniable that the botching was by design: anyone who threatened Insane’s fragile self image had their careers severely shortened… if they got off lightly. By the time Conor Caine showed up, and began to enjoy the endorsement of the fans, Insane had his sadism honed to a bloody art form: The Relentless Conor Caine would be his masterpiece.

Fuelled by his renewed resentment, Kizuato resolved to search Conor’s apartment for any leads; it was a long shot, but he didn’t want to just sit around. As he made his way towards the lobby of JWA Studios, from the corner of his eye, Kizuato glimpsed a familiar shape. There, at the mouth of an unlit corridor, stood his former apprentice, Conor Caine, masked and brooding. As much as ‘The Relentless’ Conor Caine was an affront to the memory of the young man Kizuato took under his wing originally, this shell in a black and red mask was too much to bear. Kizuato hoped that seeing his old trainer might break Conor from his stupor, or at least give him pause long enough to allow Kizuato to get close enough to rip off that accursed mask. But before Kizuato could even speak, Brother Conor backed into the darkness and vanished. Kizuato gave chase.

No matter where Kizuato turned, or how fast he ran, Conor had always traversed a greater distance but betrayed no exertion from the effort. He appeared in doorways and then receded. Leading Kizuato deeper and deeper in to the bowels of the building. Eventually, Kizuato found himself in a basement. No where left for Conor to run.
He stepped into the gloom. All he could see was a dark stain on the concrete, blood perhaps? He called out to Conor but received no reply. It was only when he felt the heavy, hulking breath on the back of his neck that he realised that he hadn’t cornered Conor here… Brother Conor had trapped him.

The facts of the assault would have to be deciphered later, in consciousness, but for now there was only darkness.

["Lord" Taylor Thorin]

** JWA.com exclusive **

Preparations are well underway for tonight's episode of Glory and matchday two of the J-1 tournament.  At the parking lot, cars are hurriedly being moved and it's soon shown why as a helicopter appears into view and starts to descend.  However, there's also music blaring from the helicopter as Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" blares out.

The helicopter lands and as the rotors begin to slow down, the side door opens and Tembleberry steps out.  He rolls a small carpet out of the side of the helicopter which rolls down, stopping just before the entrance.  "Lord" Taylor Thorin then steps out, smiling from ear to ear, dressed in full army camo gear as well as having his face painted with two black streaks under each eye.

Thorin walks down the carpet and into the arena, ignoring Toni Cruise as he walks in.  Tembleberry follows behind him, pausing to instruct some stage hands to re-roll the carpet up so the helicopter can clear the parking lot.

CRUISE: "Errr Tembleberry, since the Lord doesn't want to talk us maybe you can?  What's with the get-up?"

TEMBLEBERRY: (sighing) "Well you see, I told the Lord that he'd got to prepare for a war tonight against Tommy End.  And well, you see the result.  Sorry Toni, got to go!"

Tembleberry scurries off leaving Toni Cruise looking bewildered.

[Bad Luck Bradley]

Bad Luck Bradley, the Bad Luck Wrestler, limps into Killies, his breath wheezing and his chest glowing from the nasty strikes from the world's most dangerous flightless bird. He steps up to the bar and gingerly lowers himself onto a stool. Jackson strolls over.

Jackson: What'll it be?

A voice answers, one that is not Bad Luck Bradley's. The voice of the Franchise, the bravest man this side of Jupiter, a man who demands that all things belong in a museum. Arizona Chance.

Arizona: It's on me. He'll need it after that match and I want him healthy for when we lock up.

Brad stands to his full height beside Chance. Behind them, Jackson busies himself. The sounds of the bar are rhythmic. The bustling resembles a beat.

Arizona: Bad Luck Bradley
Brad: Amazonia Change.
Arizona: You got badly beat.
Brad: I'm not even phased.
Arizona: You and 'Guino got mad beef?
Brad: All he's got is mange.
But if you give me half a second
I'll clue you into the craze.

Arizona steps back as Brad begins to flow.

Brad: See I'm not winnin'
Not losin'
Better bet Bad Brad's
Not snoozin'
I'm drawing with Duke
Hot ten got him confusin'

And then I wrestled with Penguino
Toughest bird upon the block
That Insane is a big meano
Wrasslers losin' is a shock

See I started as a jobber
Red-haired, weak and green
Stealing hearts like I'm a robber
Baddest Brad you've ever seen

But recently I ain't been winnin'
I'm on a losing streak I know
But next week it's you got pinnin'
You ain't stoppin' Bradley's flow.

Cos the

Bad Brad be trainin'
Muscle I be gainin'
Weights liftin'
Wright's shiftin'
Strong man
Amazonia fan
Dream match
Dream's crashed

Two points for Brad
Protein shakes will be binged
No Mick so I'm glad
No gimmicks are infringed.

He steps back. A few people look at each other and over to the pictures of the most recent JWA champs. People are annoyed. A riot is brewing. Brad stands, blind to all, hands wrapped around him, throwing up a hand sign that would have him quite unalive in certain parts of the country. The whole thing is very distasteful. Arizona clears his throat.

[Thumper Moore III]

Nov 10, 2022 5:04:47 GMT -5 Bad Luck Bradley said:

Bad Luck Bradley, the Bad Luck Wrestler, limps into Killies, his breath wheezing and his chest glowing from the nasty strikes from the world's most dangerous flightless bird. He steps up to the bar and gingerly lowers himself onto a stool. Jackson strolls over.

Jackson: What'll it be?

A voice answers, one that is not Bad Luck Bradley's. The voice of the Franchise, the bravest man this side of Jupiter, a man who demands that all things belong in a museum. Arizona Chance.

Arizona: It's on me. He'll need it after that match and I want him healthy for when we lock up.

Brad stands to his full height beside Chance. Behind them, Jackson busies himself. The sounds of the bar are rhythmic. The bustling resembles a beat.

Arizona: Bad Luck Bradley
Brad: Amazonia Change.
Arizona: You got badly beat.
Brad: I'm not even phased.
Arizona: You and 'Guino got mad beef?
Brad: All he's got is mange.
But if you give me half a second
I'll clue you into the craze.

Arizona steps back as Brad begins to flow.

Brad: See I'm not winnin'
Not losin'
Better bet Bad Brad's
Not snoozin'
I'm drawing with Duke
Hot ten got him confusin'

And then I wrestled with Penguino
Toughest bird upon the block
That Insane is a big meano
Wrasslers losin' is a shock

See I started as a jobber
Red-haired, weak and green
Stealing hearts like I'm a robber
Baddest Brad you've ever seen

But recently I ain't been winnin'
I'm on a losing streak I know
But next week it's you got pinnin'
You ain't stoppin' Bradley's flow.

Cos the

Bad Brad be trainin'
Muscle I be gainin'
Weights liftin'
Wright's shiftin'
Strong man
Amazonia fan
Dream match
Dream's crashed

Two points for Brad
Protein shakes will be binged
No Mick so I'm glad
No gimmicks are infringed.

He steps back. A few people look at each other and over to the pictures of the most recent JWA champs. People are annoyed. A riot is brewing. Brad stands, blind to all, hands wrapped around him, throwing up a hand sign that would have him quite unalive in certain parts of the country. The whole thing is very distasteful. Arizona clears his throat.

“Jax… the time has come. Hit it.”

Jackson smiles at Arizona, and presses a button underneath the bar. The lights dim to a warm glow, while a spotlight rests on Chance. He walks toward the piano, where Pierre is now sitting dressed in a white tuxedo. Perched on the piano is a replica of the J-1 trophy. “You know what to do, big guy.”

Pierre nods knowingly, and begins to play. Arizona grabs a microphone from in front of a four piece brass section, walks past the drummer and stand-up bass player, and begins to sing to the trophy.

“Sooooome—days. When I’m awfully low,
And Bad Luck Bradley’s flow,
Reminds me of the glow of—
Thinking oooooooof you.
And the way you look— tonight.

Yes, you’re lovely. With your brass so warm,
And your shine so bright,
There is nothing for me—
But to wiiiiiiiiin you.
Just the way you look— tonight.”

The band picks up in intensity as Arizona gazes lovingly at the trophy. It seems to stare intensely into Chance’s soul, as much as any object made of metal on a wooden base can.

“With each match my desire for you grows.
I’ll tear my opponents apart.
And under spotlights, your copper tone glows.
It touches myyyyyyy foolish heaaaaaart—“

Arizona suddenly turns away from the trophy and toward Bradley, with malice and intensity in his eyes and voice.

“So, Bradley. Don’t think this is a game.
Keep that fire burning.
Our date has been arranged
And I’ll piiiiiiiiin you.
Just the way you look tonight.”

The music has reached its crescendo, and slowly reaches its denouement as Chance repeats the last line softly.

“Just the way you look—“ Chance boops Bradley on the nose— “toooooo-night.”

The spotlight turns off as the house lights come back on. Arizona takes his seat back at the bar. The piano is empty, and Pierre has a keg in front of him. There is no trace of the band, and everyone has gone back to their drinks and conversation.