Cotguy's WoW

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 4/16/82
Boston Arena
Sold Out
827/41/**

The announcers tell us that tonight we will see the WoW debut of the Valedictorian.

1. In the opener, Valedictorian gets an easy win in a three-way over Crash and Pop King.

2. Average Guy over O’ Hooligan.

3. In a Trios elimination match, Howl n’ Roar and Arizona Chance defeat the Mad Slave Drivers. Wolf and Chance are the left standing, and Wolf finished off Big Thuggee for the win. Mighty Leo suggests that Howl n’ Roar and their allies have proven themselves over The MSD. Big Thuggee replies that it’s over when they say it’s over. Chance tells him that besides being the worst cliché’ in the world, it’s simply not true. It’s over when Mr. Fantasy decided it’s over, and Chance is aware that Fantasy has about made the decision.

4. The Gladiators declare holy war on The Blade Blasters. They claim that the BBs are cheap copies of them, not vice-versa. Brute is enraged that they cost him that match against Zen, and swears to break the little worm’s neck before it’s over. Massacre says those belts are as good as ours.

5. Countess is out with Iron Mask, Copper Commander, Succubus, and Gorgon Tokoro. She declares that the WoW branch of the organization is almost complete. She says that her organization won’t handle things like the Coalition last year. First off, the organization will be successful. Second, she would never put the organization’s existence at stake for any reason. It’s not hers to do that with. The organization is bigger than any one cell. Finally, the organization isn’t looking to “take over” WoW. When you rule large parts of the world, what’s a wrestling promotion? Her goal is to merely show that they are the best, and to force Aurora and her brother to watch them celebrate their successes. That’s the best way to make the Cimmeternian survivors understand that their country is gone thanks to the organization, and there’s nothing they can do about it. She closes by saying that she understands Mother Russia is due back soon. She advises Mother to swallow her pride, accept her defeat, and continue her career in WoW without drawing the wrath of the organization.

6. Ghoul n’ Goblin defeated Nerd Alert

7. Vladimir the Cruel over Zen. Brute came out after the match and brutalized Zen.

8. Fireball is out to talk about The Mad Arab. He says their rivalry has gone on long enough, as its spanned several promotions, but he wants to end it in WoW and soon. He says that since The Arab like to surround himself with so many allies that they should both bring their allies and let them surround the ring for a lumberjack match. He dares The Arab to accept.

9. Pelvis Presley, with Big Boss, Jr., wins the Cruiserweight Championship from Devin Van Winkle. The Mullets feign an attack on Franz, and Devin goes to help his father. Presley takes advantage of this distraction for the win.

[cotguy130]

Champ Clash 4/24/82
Canada Centre
Great Crowd
4800/40/***

1. We open with a rematch for the TV title with Star Boy challenging Cesar Sleeze. The match ends in a double-countout, so Sleeze retain again. Moon Man came out to assist his partner after the match. Sleeze attacked Moon Man who ended up accidentally slamming Star Boy into the ringside stairs.

2. Mother Russia is the guest on O’ Hooligan’s Pub. She says the failure of the Coalition was because she put her trust in men, and men are pigs. O’ Hooligan jokes “present company excluded, of course”. She says that he’s a pig, too, but he’s a pig with a platform that allows her to speak. She doesn’t mind using him for that. O’ Hooligan says that if she were a he then he would’ve slapped the taste out of her mouth already. She tells him to “try me.” He says that he doesn’t hit women whether they deserve it or not. With that, Mother Russia slaps him. O’ Hooligan laughs it off and says that he’s going to leave now before he crosses a line that he swore he never would.

3. The Blade Blasters successfully defend the Tag Titles against the Gladiators in a great power match. Zen comes out to celebrate with the Blasters.

4. The Gargoyle comes out alone. He calls out Roboelectro. He tells Robo (calling him Rex) that he isn’t worthy for another match against Slashmaster. Rex’ silly vendetta needs to end now. However, if Rex wants a fight then Gargoyle will give him one. He says that being a master of the dark arts includes the control of time and space. He used this control to find Rex a proper foe. He introduces the Annihilator. He tells Robo that here’s a fight he’s worthy of. Robo agrees to a match right now. However, The Annihilator goes on to win.

5. In a Cruiserweight title rematch, Pelvis Presley, with Big Boss, Jr, successfully retain against Devin Van Winkle with Franz Van Winkle.

6. The Mullets are standing in a room that looks like a moldy old basement. There are several rickety card tables around the room, and on those tables are poorly made shoebox dioramas. The tableaus in the dioramas don’t make any sense. Cletus says that since they can’t go to Tennessee till they beat up the Van Winkles, they decided to go to Texas. They are in the main hall of the Texas State Museum. This museum and its exhibits are the pride of the state. They can’t figure out why though since it’s obviously a dump. It’s stinky and full of rats and bugs, just like everything else they’ve seen in Texas. The only reason some things are bigger in Texas is because they’re fat and bloated. These exhibits looks like they were made by first graders, or Zeke, which is about the same amount of book-learnin’. They came all the way here and risked catching serious diseases just to show that despite all their big talkin’…. Texas ain’t worth a pile of donkey manure, and the “Yellow Rose” they talk about is just a batch of poison ivy.

7. Auntie Hex successfully defended the Ladies’ title against Almighty Dolla.

8. Big Thuggee defeated Fireball and Moon Man in a three-way match with a Heart Claw on Moon Man.

9. Slashmaster, with The Gargoyle, retains the WoW title in match against Jet Set Strutter.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 5/1/82
Empire Gardens
Great Crowd
1032/37/**

1. El Presidente over Pop King in the opener. EP complains about why he’s in the opening match again, and against inferior competition.

2. Aurora is with Honest Al. She introduces her brother, nicknamed He-Beast for his ferocious fighting style. He was not in Cimmertenia when the organization laid waste to it. Their parents had received word that an attack was imminent, and sent him away. He’s been training with Aurora, and she now feels he is ready to join her fight.

3. Mother Russia defeats Glam in her return match.

4. The Gramercy Riffs take on Zap and the Chameleon Kid again, but Soul Daddy declares it will be the last time. This time, when the B-Boys music hits, SD and Kobra laugh it off. Right on cue, here comes Boombox. The Riffs are in control of the match at the time, so they pay him no mind until he’s on the ring apron. Both Riffs are distracted, and Zap and Kid roll both opponents up for the pinfall(s). All three men celebrate in the ring. SD yells at Kid to get out of the ring as this isn’t about him. He challenges the B-Boys to a match as soon as it can happen.

5. Yuppie VP over Crash.

6. Dr. B over Ninja Shadow.

7. Star Boy over Vladimir the Cruel. Star uses a handful of tights to aid in the pinfall.

8. Jet Set Strutter over Damon Van Winkle.

9. In a match for the TV title, Cesar Sleeze and Moon Man fight to a Double Countout. Star Boy seems to be attempting to interfere on MM’s behalf, but ends up accidentally hitting his partner and Sleeze with a chair causing the DCO.

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 5/9/82
Golden Plaza
974/40/**

Before the show, Mr. Fantasy says that both Moon Man and Star Boy have claims to the next title shot at Cesar Sleeze’s TV title. It will be decided this way. Later tonight, there will be a three-way between Sleeze, Moon Man, and Star Boy. If either MM or SB win, they will get the next title shot and the other guy is out of the picture for now. If Sleeze wins, they are both out.

1. We open with The B-Boys versus the Gramercy Riffs. SD tells Zap that he’s proven his superiority over him, and now it’s time for his team to prove its superiority over Zap’s team. Zap says that if we win this match, I want one more match with SD. Daddy agrees. The B-Boys come up short, however, as SD puts away Zap again.

2. Dude Brohan, with Dr. B, over Iron Mask, with Countess. After the match, in a totally unexpected move, The Doctor attacks Brohan, and he, IM, and Copper Commander beat him down. Bobby Blitz and He-Beast make the save. Dr. B seems to be part of the Countess’ organization.

3. A 10-woman battle royal to determine the next challenger for Auntie Voodoo’s title is next. The participants are:
Aurora/The Queen of Mean/Mother Russia/Sgt. Shipley/Lyndi Harker/Princess Starbright/Glam/Valley Girl/Succubus…and eventual winner, Gorgon Tokoro.

4. Moon Man wins the three-way dance against Cesar Sleeze and Star Boy. After the match, MM tries to shake SB’s hand, but SB shoves him to the ground and leaves.

5. In a major upset, the Shark defeats the highly-touted newcomer, The Valedictorian.

6. The Mad Slave Drivers are in the ring. They declare their issues with Howl n’ Roar, Arizona Chance, or anyone else have not been settled. They will determine when they are settled and that won’t come until Wow starts treating them fairly. Individually or as team, they are better than their enemies and they demand the right to prove it. Mr. Fantasy comes out. He says that despite the MSD’s delusions of grandeur, he is the boss. He tries to be fair, but he’s tired of hearing them whine about “unfair” treatment. He says they have been treated like everyone else. They just can’t get the job done. Howl n’ Roar and the other have shown him that they are a step above the MSD right now. Maybe later, WoW will revisit their issues, but for now…it’s case closed. As Fantasy is leaving the ring, the MSD attack him. The Thuggees whip him while The Arab gouges at him with his trademark fork. His custom suit is quickly in tatters as the whips rip through the fabric to the skin below. His face is a bloody mess. This happens quickly, but help does arrive. The MSD’s hold them at bay as they continue their assault. Finally, Roboelectro catches Big Thuggee’s whip and rips it out of his hand. This distraction allows the numbers game to overwhelm The MSD. Someone produces handcuffs, and all three of them are cuffed and practically drug away from the ring. Medical assistance for Fantasy takes a while, and he is carried off on a stretcher.

7. As the subdued crowd watches, Zen defeats Brute in the rematch. Massacre shows up post-match and they work Zen over good.

8. We see Nerd Alert standing outside Mr. Fantasy’s office. Almighty Dolla walks up and asks them what they’re doing. Herman says that they need to see Fantasy. Dolla asks if they just saw what happened in the ring. Fantasy was severely injured and on his way to the hospital. The Nerds looks at one another, “the hospital you say? We will talk to him there!”. They run off while Dolla tries to explain that he’s badly injured. She calls them idiots and starts to walk off when a production assistant brings her a package with her name on it. He says he found it in catering. Dolla rips off the paper wrapping and looks in the box. She mutters an expletive and storms off.

9. In the main event, The Blade Blasters successfully defended the Tag Team Titles against the Executors. As the Executors made their way up the aisle after the loss, they were ambushed by The Gladiators. After taking them out, they charged the ring and went after The Blasters. While they were brawling, the Executors returned and all three teams went at it until they were finally pulled apart by wrestlers and security.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 5/15/82
Boston Arena
Great Crowd
820/41/**

The Announcers tells us at the outset that Mr. Fantasy is recovering from last week’s attack by the Mad Slave Drivers, but the injuries were severe and the recovery will be long. The day-to-day operations of WoW will be handled by a committee of high-ranking WoW officials. Their first act was to suspend The MSD indefinitely. The final decision on the extent of their discipline will be determined by Mr. Fantasy upon his return.

1. El Presidente defeats Dungeon Crawler by countout in the opener. DC seems to suffer an injury when thrown from the ring, and cannot return. EP asks for a mic again after the match. He says that he sincerely hopes that Mr. Fantasy recovers quickly from his o-so-horrible injuries. WoW isn’t the same without him around. He then asks the championship committee to consider his record in WoW and take him out of the prelims against bums. He’s a man worthy of nothing less than the main event. His current card position is unacceptable.

2. Blade Blaster Lazer defeats The Executors’ Mercenary. All partners and seconds had been banned from ringside under penalty of fine and suspension.

3. Blade Blaster Buzzsaw defeats The Executors’ Spazz and The Gladiators’ Brute. The same stips regarding ringsiders were in place.

4. Jet Set Strutter defeated Average Guy. JSS said that Slashmaster was the toughest guy he’d ever faced, period. He wasn’t the best wrestler, by any means, but he almost seemed indestructible. He said that he’s got another shot at Slash at Monster Mayhem next week, and he knew what he had to do to defeat him.

5. Members of Countess’ organization were in the ring. She introduced Dr. B as their latest acquisition. She said that he would be their world champion, Mask and Commander would be their tag champs, and Gorgon Tokoro was going to win the ladies’ title from Auntie next week. She said that they weren’t interested in secondary titles so Shark and Moon Man could relax. She mentioned that the match between Dr. B and Ninja Shadow two weeks ago was a secret tryout and they planned on recruiting the winner. Dr. B addressed Dude Brohan. He said that he wasn’t apologizing, but the attack was nothing personal. Countess needed him to do it, so he did. He doesn’t dislike Brohan, but he just can’t associate with him going forward. Anyone not in the organization is a target, and all feelings are put aside.

6. Zen and Max Attack, now known as 8-Bit, defeated Ghoul n’ Goblin.

7. Vladimir the Cruel over Red Pirate Rogers.

8. Ninja Shadow is in the ring. He is holding the black outfit that he wore as Ninja Star. He removed the white top and put on the black one. He said that had he known that Countess’ considered that match a tryout for her group, he never would’ve participated. Has he won the match, he would’ve declined the offer to join and spat in her face. Regardless of the mindset, regardless of whether he’s wearing the black or the white, regardless of whether he’s Star or Shadow, he would never work with a group like that. He worked with The Coalition because, for all its faults, it was still just about the wrestling industry. Countess’ group is about pure evil and that evil is all over the world. The people know what they did to Cimmeternia, and they won’t stop there. He adds that he wants to give a name to this evil. Calling it an “organization” sanitizes it too much. Like the evil monster of legend with which it shares a name, BASILISK is about chaos and destruction at all points on the scale…from a wrestling promotion to an entire nation of innocents. He hopes that the fans will accept the return of the Star as he takes up the good fight.

9. In a match for the Cruiserweight Title, The Shark defeats Pelvis Presley, with Big Boss Jr., to claim the title.

[cotguy130]

Monster Mayhem 5/23/82
Fairgrounds
Great Crowd
2032/42/**

1. In the opening match, Gorgon Tokoro, representing BASILISK, defeats Auntie Voodoo for the WoW Ladies’ Championship. As Auntie is returning to the back, she is attacked by Almighty Dolla.

2. The Mullets and Presley, with Big Boss Jr., are in the ring. Boss says that while the Van Winkles try to deny the tensions between the Great State of Tennessee and the overrated desert called Texas. “Being bigger don’t mean squat if half your lands ain’t fit for people to live on. Now, Winklies” (that’s how he pronounced it) “I have a solution. I propose a good old-fashioned flag match. We carry the flag of Tennessee and you carry whatever rag is important to you. All three of you and all of my guys in the ring. Whichever team pulls down their state’s flag first wins. I doubt ya’ll big, tough cowpokes will accept the challenge seeing as how you only stand tough when you’ve got more guys than us. I’m gonna throw it out there and see if you surprise me with a little courage this time.”

3. In a Trios match, The Shark, Chameleon Kid, and Star Boy defeated Wall Street and Brit Buckingham. Star Boy refused to interact with his teammates at all. They had to tag themselves in without his consent in order to participate in the match. He almost came to blows with The Shark more than once. Moon Man and Mr. Bonsai came down after the match. SB got the fall over Buckingham, and was celebrating like he’d won the world title. His partner and manager tried to calm him down, but he taunted everyone

4. The ring cleared of everyone but Moon Man, who was up next to challenge for the TV Title. Cesar Sleeze came to the ring with Uncle Eros. During the match, Star Boy came out and started harassing Eros. Sleeze went after him, and SB wiped him out with a chair shot. SB rolled Sleeze back in the ring and told MM to cover him. MM hesitated, but finally did so to win the match and the title. SB grabbed the belt and tried to place it around MM’s waist. He was still acting like a total jerk. MM took the belt away and SB acted offended. MM asked what the Hell was wrong with him. SB continued to act offended, said that he was just happy for his best friend. He said that if Moon was going to be a jerk about it then fine. He left the ring this time like a petulant brat.

5. We see a training montage with Johnny Kobra, and Soul Daddy is overseeing it. SD says that the Riffs will be having some words for future opponents very soon.

6. The Blade Blasters defeat Terry and Devin Van Winkle, with Franz Van Winkle, to retain the Tag Titles. After the match, Franz accepts Boss’ challenge.

7. The Valedictorian over Arizona Chance.

8. Slashmaster, with The Gargoyle, over Jet Set Strutter to retain the WoW World Title.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 6/5/82
Canada Centre
Sold Out
1892/41/**

During the opening, the announcers tell us that Damon and Terry Van Winkle were in a car accident on their way to the arena. Devin and Franz were in another car a few minutes ahead so they weren’t witness to what happened. As a result, the brothers involved in the accident will not be able to participate in the Trios Flag match scheduled for today. Devin and Franz, at the insistence of the others, will be here to give the fans some kind of match against one of Big Boss’ boys.

1. We open with a mixed-tag match that sees Aurora and her brother, He-Beast, defeat Countess and Iron Mask. Beast pins Mask for the win.

2. Big Boss and his boys are in the ring for the scheduled Trios match. Boss offers his condolences to the Winklies on the unfortunate accident, and is pleased to hear the injuries are no worse than they are. It is with great sadness that he accepts this forfeit win. He tells the boys that they should go order some flowers. Devin and Franz come out. Devin says not to leave so fast, as he’s here and ready for a match. Boss says that wouldn’t be fair to his guys since they trained for a tag match, not a singles match. Devin says that he agrees, so he’s planned for a Trios match as contracted. He would like to hold off on the flag stipulation until his brothers are back. Boss isn’t sure, but Presley speaks up and tells Devin to get his partners out here so they can win this match and he can get back to Graceland, “He’s got a pretty little thing waiting in the jungle room.” Devin replied that when my partners get through with you, that pretty little thing’s going to be waiting a long time. He brings out The Blade Blasters!! Boss says that he will accept the change only if the Blasters agree to give the Mullets a title match when his guys win. Lazer quickly agrees, saying that “your guy’s winning isn’t something we’re worried about.” True to his word, Devin and The Blasters get the win when Buzzsaw nails Presley with the Master Blaster.

3. O’ Hooligan’s Pub is open for business, and Fireball is the guest. Fireball talks about the suspension of The Mad Arab, and how he was hoping to settle their feud in WoW very soon. He hopes they aren’t suspended. O’ Hooligan asks why Fantasy wouldn’t suspend them after they tried to slice and dice him into pieces. Fireball says that they usually handle things differently in wrestling. They let guys settle things in the ring. O’ Hooligan replies that Fantasy isn’t a wrestler and he can’t settle it in the ring. Fireball says that he would gladly fight for Fantasy. O’ Hooligan calls him a hypocrite and says that he doesn’t care about Fantasy. He just wants to fight The Arab and he’s whining because he can’t. Fireball takes offense at the use of “whining”. O’ Hooligan says he calls it like he sees it, and Fireball is being a pouty, whining little brat who can’t get his way. Fireball asks O’ Hooligan if he’d like to stand-in for The Arab in the near future, and O’ Hooligan says that’s not what he meant. Fireball calls him a mouthy coward and leaves. O’ Hooligan is yelling after him about this isn’t over when Mother Russia runs up out of nowhere and slaps O’ Hooligan across the face. He draws back like he’s going to hit her, but she stands her ground. He throws down the mic and leaves.

4. Chet Skye, with Jessie Wild, over Brit Buckingham.

5. Roboelectro over The Annihilator. Robo (Rex Spectrum) says that once he gets rid of Gargoyle’s little irritant that he’s not done with Slashmaster

6. Star Boy over Chameleon Kid. SB picks up a clean win.

7. Auntie Voodoo over Almighty Dolla in a non-title match.

8. In a three-way to determine Slashmaster’s next challenger, Ninja Star defeats Dr. B, with Countess, and Dude Brohan.

9. The ring announcer is thanking the fans for their attendance when Moon Man comes out. He’s upset because he knows he won the TV title because Star Boy gave him some unasked-for help. Cesar Sleeze hasn’t shut up about it all week, and frankly, he’s not wrong. MM tells Sleeze that he can have a title shot right now if he wants it. Sleeze comes out in street clothes and says he’s glad to win his title back. The ref declares the match on. The match is short and there’s not much to it, but MM pins Sleeze to retain the TV Title.

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 5/13/82
Chitown Complex
1620/41/**

1. El Presidente is in the ring. He says enough’s enough. He is refusing to wrestle another nobody in the opening bout again. It is beneath him as he’s stated several times. Honest Al comes out. Al says that WoW has a solution to EP’s problem. He starts to leave and says that he will be back whenever it’s time for his rescheduled match. Al says that’s not necessary. He says that EP complained about wrestling in the prelims against opening match talent. Well, they’re going to remedy one of the two complaints. He’s still in the first match, but the quality of opposition has gone way up. His opponent will be Reptile Ranger. Al says that this match is for the final spot in a 10-man battle royal being held next week to determine the next challenger for the TV title. EP does win the match with his Presidential Plancha to claim the last spot in the battle royal.

2. Keith Blood over Michael T. Wolf.

3. Fireball and O’ Hooligan fight to a double countout. During the match, Mother Russia comes out and taunts O’ Hooligan. He leaves the ring to go after her. Fireball follows him and they start brawling. O’ Hooligan strikes Mother Russia during the brawl, with some claiming the blow was intentional. The fight lasts well passed the ref’s count and is broken up by WoW officials.

4. Dude Brohan takes on Dr. B with Countess in the next match. Despite Countess constant attempts at distraction, Brohan pulls out the win. After the match, while Countess gets in Brohan’s face to continue her taunting, Dr. B jumps him from behind and chokes him out with his heavy gold chain. Brohan passes out as help arrives in the form of Aurora and He-Beast. Brohan is revived and helped to the back.

5. Crash over GoblinKnight.

6. The Neon Express wade out into the crowd for pictures and autographs, much to the people’s delight.

7. Command & Conquer defeat The American Heroes.

8. The Gramercy Riffs talk about how they’ve run The B-Boys out of WoW, and that they can finally move on to bigger things. Soul Daddy says that next week, they will wrestle the Neon Express for a spot in the second annual Tag Team Invitational in two weeks.

9. Slashmaster, with The Gargoyle, retain the WoW title against Ninja Star.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 5/19/18
Empire Gardens
Great Crowd
1050/42/**

1. We open up with a high-energy ladies’ three-way match which sees Glam defeat Chaka Crass and Gothica.

2. In a rematch, Arizona Chance defeats The Valedictorian.

3. The 10-man battle royal to determine the next contender for the TV title is up. The 10 participants are:
Brit Buckingham/Mr. Tycoon/O’ Hooligan/Keith Blood/The Annihilator/Pelvis Presley/Zombie Punk/GoblinKnight/A surprise returning entrant in Troglo…and eventual winner El Presidente.

O’ Hooligan’s elimination is helped via distraction from Mother Russia.

4. In a Trios match, Dr. B teams up with Command & Conquer, with Countess, to defeat He-Beast, Bobby Blitzworth, and Warhawk. Dr. B pins He-Beast with the Clubber.

5. Yuppie VP over Crash.

6. Next up is a P4V commercial for next week’s 2nd Annual Tag Team Invitational. The Executors and The Gladiators, who are both in the tournament, talk about their recent issues. Massacre wonders what Ryan Regret is up to. It is revealed that these two team will meet in the first round of the Invitational. The rest of the teams are:
Howl n’ Roar/Command & Conquer/8-Bit/The Adventurers/Either the Neon Express or Gramercy Riffs/1 mystery team.

7. The Gramercy Riffs claim their spot in the Invitational with a win over The Neon Express.

8. Dude Brohan is with Honest Al. He says that he had no intention of getting involved in a war with the WoW branch of a clandestine, para-military, terrorist organization, but it’s been forced upon him. They’ve brainwashed his friend, Dr. B, and he’s going to set him free. However, the Countess hanging around isn’t something he’s had to deal with before, so he needs help and advice. Dude introduces his counter to the Countess, Lyndi Harker. Harker says that she will have Dude’s back and team with him if needed. Brohan said it will be needed, as he’s pursuing a match with Dr. B and Countess. Harker says to name the time and place.

9. Moon Man comes out. He says he asked for, and received, a format change. There’s been a lot of strange things going on with his friend and partner, Star Boy, and he wants to clear the air. Star Boy comes out. MM reminds him that he acted this way a few months ago for a period of time, and ended up apologizing. SB says that he does remember, and he meant it. Furthermore, he wants to do it again. He’s had a lot going on in his life outside of wrestling, and its affected him in ways he doesn’t like. Some of these things are the same issues from his first bout with stress. He hates what they do to him, and he’s getting help to work through them. Moon Man says that he’s there for him, and will do anything for his friend. SB says “how’s about a TV title shot, right now. It will show me that you’re sincere.” Moon Man says that if that’s what it will take then SB’s on. In the match, SB appears to be adjusting something in his glove before catching Moon Man with the Flying Cross Chop for the pinfall and the title. Once again, SB’s celebration very extravagantly. Mr. Bonsai comes out and says that he was watching on the monitor, and he feels SB loaded his glove. He asks to see it. SB says he has a victory party planned and he’s going to be late. He bolts from the ring.

[cotguy130]

Tag Team Invitational
Puro Dome
Great Crowd
5112/44/**

We are back in Japan for the Second Annual WoW Tag Team Invitational. In addition to various cash and prizes, the winning team receives a WoW Tag Team Title match.

1. In the first match of the first round, The Gladiators defeat The Executors. After the match, Ryan Regret comes out and tells both teams that he’s got something in store for them that will make their WoW careers very short.

2. In the second match, it was Howl n’ Roar over the Gramercy Riffs.

3. Command & Conquer over 8-Bit in the third match of the first round.

4. The Adventurers are out for the final first-round match. The Gargoyle comes out. He says that he’s done the impossible and reunited the greatest tag team in WoW history, last year’s Invitational winners, Shop of Horrors!! Slashmaster and Keith Blood come out. Gargoyle says that when they win the tournament, they want a match with the Blade Blasters to prove their superiority, but they aren’t interested in the tag titles at this time. SoH go on to win this match and advance in the tournament.

5. In a Ladies’ title match, BASILISK suffer a setback when Lyndi Harker defeats Gorgon Tokoro for the ladies’ title. Dude Brohan is at ringside with Harker.
6. In the second round, Howl n’ Roar defeat the Gladiators.

7. Shop of Horrors defeat Command & Conquer.

8. Before the final match, The Blade Blasters talk about the tournament and say that the best two teams are in the finals. They say that they understand Gargoyle wanting to avoid the embarrassment of his team not winning the titles by saying they don’t want a title shot. They both pick Howl n’ Roar to win, and say they are looking forward to an amazing title defense against them.

9. In the final match, Shop of Horrors defeats Howl n’ Roar to become Invitational champs for the second year in a row. The Blade Blasters come out and the two teams go nose-to-nose. Buzzsaw and Slashmaster look like they’re going to blows, but Gargoyle calls his team off.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 7/3/82
Empire Gardens
Sold Out
1687/46/**

We open on Big Boss Jr. talking to the Mullets and Pelvis Presley. He is assuring them that everything will go their way in the Trios flag match. The Van Winkles walk by. Boss shouts out that it’s nice they could make it this time. A brawl almost breaks out, but Franz says save it for the ring. Boss says you won’t be able to protect them in the actual match. Boss asks if they got the flowers they sent. Cletus pipes in a says “I bet the Winklies will be more careful next time they see a white SUV passing by.” Everybody gets quiet. Damon asks how they knew it was a white SUV that ran them off the road. Cletus replies that he saw it on the interwebz. Terry approaches Cletus, but Zeke blocks the way. Terry says that they never told anyone they were run off the road, much less what kind of vehicle it was. Franz yells “it was you sons o’-“, and he goes after them but Devin stops him. Devin says that none of these clowns is smart enough to come up with that idea, so it had to be you. Boss protests, but Devin tells him to shut up. He says that “what happens in the ring is one thing, but to try and hurt someone like you did makes you all bigger pieces of human trash than we thought. When our match is over, and we’re waving our flag as the winners we will surely be, Boss, we are going to take your flag and stuff it up your-well, you get the picture. See you in a few, dead hillbillies walking.”

1. In the rubber match of their trilogy, Arizona Chance defeats The Valedictorian.

2. In a non-title match, Shop of Horrors, with The Gargoyle, defeat The Blade Blasters. Keith Blood gets the fall on Lazer with the Crucifix. The Gargoyle taunts The Blasters and they go after him. A brawl breaks out. Buzzsaw and Slashmaster tear into one another. The fight finally breaks up when Gargoyle calls for a retreat.

3. In the Trios Flag match, the Van Winkles make short work of The Mullets and Presley. Damon wins the match by retrieving the Texas flag with one hand while holding Presley in the Winkle Claw with the other. At the same time, Devin and Terry have Cletus and Zeke in the Claw, and Franz had a claw on Big Boss. After the bell is rung, Damon throws Presley out of the ring and retrieves the Tennessee flag. Franz drags Boss into the ring and Damon gives him a gut shot with the flag pole. Terry takes it and cracks him over the head, busting him open. Cletus, Zeke, and Presley all get shots to the head with the flag pole. Devin tells the fans that he knows this kind of stuff isn’t the Van Winkle way usually, but Boss planned the car accident that sent Damon and Terry to the hospital. One of the Mullets may have been driving. For that, sportsmanship goes out the window. They tear up Boss’ 10-gallon hat and rip his white jacket off. Franz finally tells them that’s enough. The three brothers and their father head up the aisle waving the Texas flag. Damon says that just to show there’s no hard feeling, we honor both states in this feud, which was made up in those guy’s little minds. The Van Winkles wave the flags of both states as they exit the arena.

4. Aurora and Lyndi Harker over Succubus and Gorgon Tokoro.

5. Dungeon Crawler over GoblinKnight in a match that blew everybody away. As many times as they’ve wrestled, nobody thought they would be capable of putting on a match this entertaining.

6. Roboelectro and The Annihilator went to a 30-minute draw.

7. He-Beast over Iron Mask.

8. Princess Starbright defeated Valley Girl in another excellent match in their ongoing feud.

9. In a three-way match to determine Slashmaster’s next challenger, Dude Brohan defeated Dr. B, with Countess, and Average Guy.

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 7/11/82
Golden Plaza
Sold Out
1407/44/**

1. Sgt. Shipley upsets The Queen of Mean in the opening match.

2. O’ Hooligan defeats Fireball in an excellent match.

3. Pop King shocks everyone with a win over Troglo. The match itself was bad, so the fans were more glad that it was over than the fact that the underdog won.

4. Keith Blood over Max Attack.

5. The Valedictorian is in the ring. He says that this is first real chance to speak since joining WoW. He mentions coming up short at the Puro Dome show during Christmas of 1980, and how it took over a year to make it to WoW after that. He’s got to make up for lost time now that he’s here, but Arizona Chance turned out to be a bigger roadblock than he expected. He expected his first big promo in WoW to be celebrating a title, not trying to figure out how to beat guys not fit to lace his boots. He says he’s putting WoW on notice. He can’t change the past, but the future will look a whole different and there’s nothing anybody can do about it.

6. Wall Street defeated The Insectoids.

7. The Van Winkles are backstage. They talk about how it’s good to get Big Boss and his bunch behind them. They hope the good people of Tennessee understand that the feud was made up by Boss, and they do not have any ill will towards the people of the state. Now, it’s time to think about winning some titles in WoW. Devin, a former cruiserweight champion, says it’s a good feeling because if you represent WoW then you represent the best of the best. Damon says that he needs a win over Jet Set Strutter, but he knows that he can beat him. Terry says that the TV title, the World title, and the Tag Titles are all going to be a part of the Van Winkles future. They close by saying that their father Franz is going back to Texas for a while to be with their Mom, so he won’t be in their corner in the near future. While it was nice to travel with him and have him close for advice, they are ready to make their own path.

8. Slashmaster, with The Gargoyle, defeats Dude Brohan to retain the WoW World Championship.

In a segment shown on next week’s show, The Shark defeated Pelvis Presley to retain the Cruiserweight Championship. All of this happened well after the show went off the air. Shark was doing an interview for the local media is Las Vegas when Presley walked by. He interrupted the interview and said that they obviously found the wrong guy to interview since the king of Las Vegas was right here. Presley was asked to leave and they tried to continue the interview. An offended Presley attacked The Shark. After leaving Shark stunned, Presley hijacked the interview and began talking about how he was the rightful cruiserweight champion. Shark returned but was stopped from attacking Presley. Shark asked if the ring was still up, and was told they were just about to start disassembling. He asked Presley if he wanted a title match right now. He ran to the ring and told Presley to shut up and get out here if he had the guts. A WoW official at ringside said that if Presley accepted then he would make it official. Presley and a ref showed up and the match was on. Shark wins with the Great White Strike.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 7/17/82
The Ballroom
Great Crowd
947/41/**

The opening is the cruiserweight title match from after last week’s show concluded.

1. The Valedictorian defeats Chameleon Kid in the first match of the night.

2. The Insectoids over Nerd Alert in a battle of the “less-successful” tag teams in WoW.

3. Mynx over Mother Russia. After the match, Mother blames the loss over her preoccupation with
O’ Hooligan she says that she will get him to agree to a match before this is over. He’s a chauvinistic pig who is afraid to fight her because he knows she will embarrass him.

4. Pop King gets another win, this time over O’ Hooligan. This time, however, he had help. O’ Hooligan looked to be on his way to a fairly easy win when Mother Russia came to ringside and taunted him. He completely ignored the match in progress. She hopped on the ring apron and slapped him. He said it would take more than that to get him to agree to a match. He turned and walked right into a Thriller from Pop King for the pinfall win. Mother asked him if making sure he suffered a humiliating loss be enough?

5. Johnny Kobra defeated Max Attack. Soul Daddy and Kobra worked over Max after the match, and Zen made the save.

6. We are back in the graveyard for the first time in a while. Gargoyle is there with Slashmaster and Keith Blood. He says that everyone is asking how he did it. How he reunited Shop of Horrors. He said that an individual with his level of mastery over the forces of darkness can control creatures of darkness with ease. For him, it was like a normal, mundane human breathing. It just comes naturally. Now, he controls both the greatest individual wrestler in the world and the greatest tag team. They’ve beaten The Blade Blasters and everyone knows it. The Blade Blasters are only champions because Shop of Horrors choose to let them be. He closes with a warning for Buzzsaw to stay out of Slashmaster’s way. He says Buzzsaw is having delusions of grandeur about his place in WoW. He isn’t fit to be challenging Slashmaster like he’s prone to do, and if he keeps it up then Slashmaster will put him down.

7. Howl n’ Roar defeat Command & Conquer with Countess. Dr. B joins them in attacking H n’ R. Dude Brohan and Lyndi Harker help run them off.

8. Moon Man is with Honest Al. He talks about how things have been with Star Boy lately and his unusual up and down behavior. He and Mr. Bonsai have been trying to talk to SB about the situation, but he either makes light of it or gets belligerent. They know something’s wrong, and they hope he will get help. He finishes the interview as Star Boy’s music plays for his TV Title defense against El Presidente. Star Boy yells at MM to stop worrying so much and enjoy life.

9. El Presidente pins Star Boy to win the TV title. Star Boy was what was best-described as “playful” throughout the match. However, upon defeat, he went into a rage. He attacked the ref and ring announcer. Moon Man and Mr. Bonsai came to try and calm him down, and he shoved Bonsai into the announcer’s table before storming off.

[cotguy130]

Ladies Night 7/25/82
Boston Arena
Great Crowd
2250/44/***

1. In a No-Holds-Barred Match, Countess defeats Aurora. Succubus joins Countess in a post-match attack and Aurora ends up needing medical attention.

2. In the lone men’s’ match of the night, Moon Man is scheduled to face Damon Van Winkle. Star Boy comes down and demands to be added, claiming he owes something to Moon Man for airing his personal business like he did. Moon Man says he’s just trying to help, and Star Boy attacks him. Damon pulls SB off, and SB attacks him. The ref declares this now to be a three-way and calls for the bell. Moon Man wins by pinning Star Boy. SB lays in the ring for minutes after the pin. When the ref threatens him with suspension for not leaving the ring, SB rolls out of the ring and crawls under it. They spend a little more time trying to coax him out, and the ref then says that he can stay there, but he has to stay there all night. If he comes out before the show’s over, he will be fined and suspended.

3. The Annual Ladies’ Night Battle Royal is next. The participants are
Almighty Dolla/Chaka Crass/Glam/Gothica/Succubus/Mynx/Princess Starbright/The Queen of Mean/Valley Girl/The eventual winner, for the 2nd year in a row, Auntie Voodoo.

4. We cut to a disagreement backstage between O’ Hooligan and Fireball. They are almost at blows, with security barely separating them. Out of nowhere, Mother Russia runs in and kicks O’ Hooligan in the groin. He crumples to the ground. She yells in his face about a match. Fireball walks off laughing. Mother tells O’ Hooligan that when he’s ready to stop being a coward and face her that he knows where to find her. She starts to walk off, and O’ Hooligan manages to say the word “Stop”. He pulls himself up to his knees with great effort. He tells her that she confuses cowardice with chivalry. Now, chivalry is dead and so will she be. He accepts her challenge.

5. Lyndi Harker and Gorgon Tokoro fight to a 1-hour time limit draw in a WoW Ladies’ Championship match.

[Thumper Moore III]

Quick July recap:

The Van Winkles move on to bigger things after the hilarious Mullets are dealt with.

Pop King is on a roll.

Slashmaster is pretty much unstoppable.

The Insectoids are the best bad tag team.

Star Boy is insane.

Gorgon Takoro and Lyndi Harker are very, very tired.

Great stuff Cotguy!!