Cotguy's WoW

[cotguy130]

Cruiserweight Cup 9/24/83
Prince Charlie Hall
Sold Out
2019/47/***

1) In a great opener, Death Star Boy defeats defending tournament champ, Jessie Wild.

2) The Shark over Chameleon Kid in our second match of the night.

3) In a highly anticipated bout that sadly fell very, very flat, Dicky Thunderbird defeated Ninja Star.

4) The 1st-round closes with Max Attack defeating Devin Van Winkle.

5) Jet Set Strutter and Reptile Ranger come out together to accept The Honor Society’s challenge. Strutter says to enjoy the view of these belts, because right now is as close as you will get for a long time.

6) In the 2nd-round, Death Star Boy defeats The Shark.

7) Dicky Thunderbird over Max Attack.

8) BASILISK come out, and they are angry. Countess says that after putting down Aurora for the final time, she should still be celebrating. Instead, she’s got the wrath of HQ coming down on her for Conquer & Command losing the tag titles. Iron Mask says they only won because Succubus betrayed them, and has now run like the cur she is. Skullgore mutters something that sounds lie gibberish. He tells the Blade Blasters that he has literally cursed them non-stop since they stole the titles. He claims that he knew all along that they were trying to trick BASILISK. He said “you don’t trick the greatest tricksters on planet Earth. However, we were not on to Succubus’ plot. You better stay gone, freak, or we will send you back to the grave permanently.”

9) In the finals, Death Star Boy defeats Dicky Thunderbird to win the tournament. He says to let O’ Hooligan know that the Cruiserweight title will be mine again.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 10/1/83
Canada Centre
Great Crowd
1658/45/**

1) In our first match of the night, The Honor Society defeat Jet Set Strutter and Reptile Ranger. The Society earn title shots at JSS’ and Ranger’s individual titles.

2) Magnus Muscle over The Annihilator and Arizona Chance in a three-way match.

3) Yuppie VP, with Mr. Tycoon, over Devin Van Winkle.

4) In a rematch, Dude Brohan and Lyndi Harker defeat Sorcery, Skullgore and Countess. After the match, Conquer & Command and Gorgon Tokoro attack. The Blade Blasters make the save. At Harker’s urging, the Blasters use the Master Blaster on Gorgon.

5) Poppa Choppa, with Ryan Regret, over Max Attack.

6) Average Guy proves, yet again, that he is Dark Invader’s kryptonite with another win.

7) Cesar Sleeze, with Helga Schmidt, over Chameleon Kid.

8) Damon Van Winkle over Vladimir the Cruel.

9) O’ Hooligan successfully retain the Cruiserweight Title with a win over Death Star Boy.

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 10/9/83
Chitown Complex
Great Crowd
1078/44/**

1) Barbaric Nature, with Ryan Regret, over Nerd Alert. After the win, Poppa Choppa and Cutthroat Carter join them in assaulting the Nerds. Howl n’ Roar and Bobby Blitzworth make the save. Regret grabs a mic and tells Howl n’ Roar that he hopes they’re hungry later because they’re getting served their favorite kibble before this night is over.

2) Arizona Chance over El Presidente.

3) Zeke Mullet with an upset win over Fireball. Cletus comes to ringside to yell at Zeke. Zeke shoves him down and leaves.

4) Sgt. Shipley picks up a win over Aurora. The crowd is surprised, but supportive.

5) The announcers say that we will see some footage of what happened in the workout room at the WoW offices earlier in the week. We cut to the Blade Blasters working out. Lazer is on a bench, and Buzzsaw is doing pulldowns. Without warning, BASILISK swarms into the room. Conquer & Command go after Buzzsaw’s exposed midsection, and Skullgore grabs the bar that Lazer is pressing and pushes it down on his chest. Countess and Gorgon close the door and lock it. People are immediately heard banging and yelling from the outside. C&C and Skullgore work over The Blasters with weights and bars, and both Blasters are bleeding. Somebody finally unlocks the door from the outside with a key, but as soon as they entire the room, Gorgon beats them back out with a dumbbell in each hand and slams the door. By this time, the Blasters are barely conscious. Then, a loud crash is heard. A driverless golf cart has come through the big plate glass windows that look outside onto the parking lot. Dude Brohan and Lyndi Harker charge through the hole made by the cart, which had run over Iron Mask’s foot before crashing into a leg press. Mask went down and was an easy target for Brohan. Harker grabbed a weight bar and went after the Countess. Gorgon went to aid Countess, and this allowed the help outside to enter with the key again. Brohan had grabbed Skullgore and was threatening to use a glass shard on him. WoW security filled the room, and an official ordered the fighting to cease. He told Brohan and Harker to leave after thanking them for their help, although he warned Dude about almost going too far. The Blasters received immediate medical attention. BASILISK members were told that they would receive medical treatment, and were then ordered to move to a meeting room. Countess said that “we obey only because it’s very difficult for some of us to leave right now. Don’t think we’re doing this out of any respect for your so-called authority.

6) Howl n’ Roar defeat the Executors. As they celebrate in the ring, they call out Bobby Blitzworth to join them. As soon as he enters the arena, he is attacked by Carter and Poppa Choppa. Before H n’ R can respond, they are jumped from behind by Barbaric Nature who came through the audience. At the same time, Ryan Regret rolled a wheelbarrow down the aisle. The Arab and Troglo pulled bag out of the wheelbarrow and ripped the tops off. They poured the contents, which was revealed to be dry dog and cat food, all over H n’ R. After eliminating Blitz, Carter and Choppa came down. They pulled cans of food out of the ‘barrow. The tops had already been opened, but were just in place. Carter and Choppa then scooped pet food out of the cans and forced some into H n’ R’s mouths. Regret said that his team thought that the doggy and kitty looked hungry when they interfered in the wrong business earlier tonight. “Here’s your kibble, Fido and little kitty. Enjoy your food and stay out of our way. Blitz, same goes for you, ‘cept we aren’t feeding you. You made too much money playing bad football in the NFL. Carter here was a true legend of the gridiron, but couldn’t get a break due to favoritism. You took food out of his families mouths with your greed, Blitz. What goes around comes around. Little Sally Blitz will be crying when she goes to bed hungry ‘cause Daddy can’t do his job. Boo hoo, jerk. You and your animal friends hopefully learned a lesson tonight. My boys are better, period, in everything we do. Accept it and move on, or fight it and get embarrassed worse than this, if that’s possible.”

7) Cesar Sleeze, with Helga Schmidt, over War Hawk. Helga comes out wearing a fur coat and a tiara. Cesar praises her constantly.

8) Evil Empire are with Honest Al. They mock Ace Arcadium’s claims that he can find out why they are working for no compensation. They say it’s no secret. They want to beat people up in WoW, and they don’t need WoW’s money. “It’s not rocket science. There’s no big conspiracy.” Enough wrestlers wanted a shot at them after they broke up that farce of a wedding. They knew that would happen because wrestlers are so predictable. “WoW knew they could make money off us even though we couldn’t care less about getting money off them. We agreed to beat up people for free. It’s been great, and its not stopping anytime soon. We heard that little twerp Norman’s surgery was successful. That’s unfortunate. Should he try and come back like he promised on that silly little TV show, it will be the absolute worst mistake of his life. He won’t need a doctor; he will need a mortician. If that sounds harsh, too bad.” DSB said, “when I was my loser self, Star Boy, I saw worthless wastes of roster like Norman and that fat broad Tiki getting all the press. I couldn’t handle it, and it drove me nuts, literally. Turns out that was the best thing that could’ve happened. Death Star is vastly superior to lame Star, and you can thank my therapist for that.” DI closed with, “Ace, Guy, Norman, please listen. Stay away. Any success you may have had is fleeting. Its passed. Going forward, you, or anyone like you, are victims.”

9) Dicky Thunderbird over The Valedictorian in another amazing match. Should Valedictorian defeat Jet Set Strutter in two weeks, Thunderbird will get the first shot.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 10/15/83
Empire Gardens
Great Crowd
1430/45/***

1) Cutthroat Carter, with Ryan Regret, over Pop King.

2) Average Guy and Ace Arcadium over Evil Empire when Ace pinned Death Star Boy. Dark Invader reminded Ace that he still hadn’t pinned him. Guy reminded DI that he had pinned him enough for the both of them. After Evil Empire left, Teeny Norman’s music played. The crowd erupted as he and Tiki came out surrounded by security. Norman was not using a walker nor any other form of assistance. They made their way to the ring and greeted Guy and Ace warmly. Norman said that he was not ready yet, but would be in about two months. He was ready to pick his partner for the tag team match in December. Ace got a big smile on his face and started to speak, but before he could, Norman offered his hand to Guy and made the request of him. Guy shook his hand and accepted. Ace looked confused at first, then celebrated along with them.

3) Princess Starbright over Valley Girl. Afterwards, Starbright commented that Uncle Eros may have been a creep, but his harem was winning with him in their corner. Now, not so much. They should’ve thought twice before abusing him like they did.

4) Roboelectro, with Prof. Gigawatt, over The Annihilator.

5) Cesar Sleaze, with Helga Schmidt, over the debuting Bug Buster.

6) We cut to outside the arena, where Cletus and Zeke are once again arguing over Zeke’s insistence that his wrestling career in WoW continue. Cletus actually pulled a length of pipe out of his truck bed. Zeke grabbed it from him and threw it into some bushes. Cletus mentioned Little Elmer again, and how sad he would be if Zeke doesn’t listen to people smarter n’ him. Zeke chuckles and said that Little Elmer not at home. He said that Little Elmer is happy with Zeke fighting in WoW. Cletus said that Little Elmer doesn’t like it when people lie, and Zeke lied. Zeke replied that he wanted to show Cletus something. If Cletus could handle things, then Zeke will go home for sure. Cletus replied that he can handle anything Zeke needs him to handle. Zeke says they need to go inside.

7) The Van Winkles over Wall Street.

8) O’ Hooligan’s Pub is open, and the guest is Arizona Chance. Chance says that he echoes Brohan’s sentiment in saying that he’s glad O’ Hooligan worked through his problems. O’ Hooligan thanks him, and says he hopes what he’s about to say isn’t taken the wrong way. He tells Chance that he’s challenging him to a Cruiserweight title match. Chance laughs and says the champion doesn’t usually do the challenging. O’ Hooligan says that he understands that. Chance says that he’s not really a cruiserweight. O’ Hooligan asks him what he weighs, and what’s the maximum weight for a cruiserweight? Chance says technically I am, but I don’t wrestle like those guys. O’ Hooligan says, “neither do I, but I’ve made it work. I don’t flip around off the top rope, I wrestle and fight. You wrestle and fight. I want to match up with a guy who handles his business like I do…on the mat, more or less. What d’ya say?” Chance says that he sees O’ Hooligan’s point, but it’s not a good fit. O’ Hooligan reminds him that it’s been a long time since he wore a title, and WoW doesn’t seem like they want him in the main title scene right now. “What do you have to lose? How often are you offered a title shot for a belt you qualify for?” Chance thinks and says that O’ Hooligan’s right. He accepts the title match.

9) Reptile Ranger successfully defends the TV title against The Flawless One with The Valedictorian.


We see Zeke lead Cletus to a room with a closed door. He told Cletus that he needed him to take care of some business in that room. “Little Elmer wants me to keep on fighting in WoW. I know, because he followed me to WoW. If you think he’s sad, see for yourself.” Zeke opens the door and there’s a huge Rottweiler sitting calmly in the room. “See if you can work it out with Little Elmer.” Cletus starts to run, but Zeke grabs him by his overall strap and slings him into the room. He shuts the door. All you hear is loud, ferocious barking, and screaming, as we fade to black.

[Thumper Moore III]

I’m not sure anyone ever asked for some Mullet on Mullet action... but now I can’t wait!

[cotguy130]

Halloween Hellraiser 10/22/83
Olympus Colosseum
Great Crowd
6441/45/**

The announcers tell us that the fans have been in constant contact asking WoW to show what happened after the show went off the air last week. What happened to Cletus and Little Elmer? We pick up where we left off last week, with the sounds of barking and yelling coming from the other side of a closed door. Zeke is standing outside. The door finally bursts open, and Cletus dives out. Little Elmer walks up to Zeke and sits down beside him with a totally innocent look on his face. Cletus overalls are shredded, and he has some scratches. Other than that, he appears fine. Cletus points at Little Elmer, yells “keep it away from me”, and runs off.

1) We come across Cesar Sleeze and Helga Schmidt talking. Sleaze says that he’s glad this worked out, since he wasn’t sure they would at first. Helga kisses him and says that she knew all along that he was Mr. Right. She says she’s sad, though, because Cesar doesn’t seem to have any friends. He says he’s fine, but she insists. She brings in Chief Buffalo, and says that he will be Cesar’s friend. Cesar repeats that he’s fine, but the Chief grabs him arm and shakes it vigorously. Sleaze says, “fine, let’s see what happens.”

2) The show officially opens with Reptile Ranger successfully defending the TV title against Brit Buckingham.

3) The Queen of Mean over Spunky Sparks. The Queen continues to work over Sparks after the win. Starbright makes the save, but Valley Girl takes her out. VG asks The Queen if she sees Eros around anywhere. The Queen says he won’t show his face again in WoW for a long time, if ever. VG says that we managed to beatdown two people without Eros’ help. Queen says they will do just fine without him.

4) Dicky Thunderbird over Death Star Boy with Dark Invader.

5) The Dobermans over The Insectoids.

6) Arizona Chance over El Presidente. Chance tells EP that he just used up his last…chance.

7) The announcers intro a piece of video recorded in a conference room at WoW’s corporate office. It was filmed immediately after BASILISK’s attack on the Blade Blasters in the gym at the same location. Mr. Fantasy, Honest Al, and other WoW officials are present. Iron Mask was absent as he was receiving medical attention on his foot. Mr. Fantasy said that he is going to speak his mind and this meeting is over. This is not a discussion. Effective immediately, all member of BASILISK are suspended until January 31st, 1984. There is one exception. At Survival Series, Conquer & Command and Skullgore will take on The Blade Blasters and Dude Brohan. If BASILISK wins that match, the suspension is lifted immediately. BASILISK member launch into a cacophony of protests. Fantasy tells security to escort them out. After he leaves, he sticks his head back in the door. He says he forgot something. “By the way, repair costs for all the damages you caused will be deducted from your pay…once you start getting paid again.”

8) Next up is the Blade Blasters defending the WoW Tag Team Championships against Barbaric Nature. The Blasters barely retain. They are still showing the effects of the attack at WoW HQ. After the match, Poppa Choppa and Cutthroat Carter join BN in a beatdown. The Mad Arab holds Lazer in the Fat Camel Clutch for a very long time. Troglo knocks Buzzsaw completely unconscious with his club.

9) In the main event, the Valedictorian takes the WoW Championship back from Jet Set Strutter. The Flawless One is with Val, but only provides minimal assistance. As Val and TFO celebrate the win, Dicky Thunderbird comes out and tells Val that he will see him at Survival Series.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 11/5/83
Golden Plaza
Sold Out
1237/44/**

1) In the opener, Vladimir the Cruel defeated Chameleon Kid and Chief Buffalo, with Helga Schmidt.

2) In a rematch, Aurora beat Sgt. Shipley in a cleanly fought bout.

3) The Executors over The American Heroes.

4) We go to a commercial for the Survival Series. Dude Brohan talks about teaming with The Blade Blasters to take on Skullgore and Conquer & Command. Brohan announces that this will be his last match in WoW for a while as his leave to work on the movie begins December 1st. In a pre-recorded clip, Skullgore says that this will be Brohan’s and The Blasters’ last match in WoW ever, as they are going to finish what they started at WoW HQ, and end their illegal suspension. Bobby Blitzworth and Cutthroat Carter are on split-screen talking about their match that will see Blitz teaming with Howl n’ Roar to take on Carter and Barbaric Nature. Carter says that BN have another title shot coming up, and promises that they will be tag champs at Survival Series. Honest Al makes the announcement that this match will be held inside a steel cage.

5) Poppa Choppa over Bug Buster.

6) The Shark over Death Star Boy in another great match. Shark gets on the mic. He says that Piranha was better than Star Boy and Shark is better than Death Star Boy…although he admits they may be a little closer this time around.

7) Roboelectro, with Prof. Gigawatt, over Cesar Sleaze. Sleaze is alone, and seems off his game. After the loss, he rushes to the back.

8) The Flawless One over Max Attack, with Zen.

9) In a surprise finish, Zeke Mullet wins the TV title from Reptile Ranger. It was, by far, the best match of Zeke’s WoW career. By the end of the match, the fans were cheering both men. As Zeke stood in the ring and admired the belt, he let out a big whistle. Little Elmer ran from the back and jumped into the ring. Elmer started licking Zeke’s face as the big man rubbed his dog’s tummy. Zeke walked Little Elmer around the ring and let people pet him.

We cut to the back as the announcers are signing off. Sleaze is running around like a maniac screaming “Helga”!!! He finds her and Chief Buffalo sitting in catering. He asks her if she saw his match and she said she saw him lose to the “tin man”. He asks why she didn’t come out with him and she said she was reviewing Chief’s match. She says that she will be with Cesar next time.

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 11/13/83
Golden Plaza
Sold Out
1785/48/**

WoW’s “Week in Sin City” concludes with another Sold Out show at the Golden Plaza Casino. Honest Al opens with the announcement that tonight’s main event has been changed. Due to injuries to the Blade Blasters, tonight’s title defense against Barbaric Nature is off, and BN will take on The Dobermans.

1) Reptile Ranger over El Presidente.

2) The Executors over 8-Bit.

3) In a three-way, Poppa Choppa, with Ryan Regret, over Roboelectro, with Prof. Gigawatt, and Bobby Blitzworth. At one point in the match, The Prof is signaling Robo. Ryan Regret sprays the contents of his ever-present spray bottle into The Prof’s face. The liquid causes him extreme pain. Robo is distracted by his “tech support’s” condition, and Choppa uses the Spike Piledriver for the win. Regret acts innocent.

4) A 10-woman battle royal is next

The participants are:
Aurora/Sgt. Shipley/The Queen of Mean/Glam/Gothica/Valley Girl/Mother Russia/Spunky Sparks/Mynx/and eventual winner…yet again, Auntie Voodoo.

5) The Flawless One, with The Valedictorian, over Terry Van Winkle, with Devin Van Winkle.

6) Average Guy and Norman are with Honest Al. Norman can’t stop talking about how excited he is to get his shot at Evil Empire. Guy warns him about overconfidence. Ace Arcadium walks up and says that he didn’t know we had an interview scheduled. Al says that the format just shows Guy and Norman, but he’s welcome to say what’s on his mind. Guy and Norman encourage him to say something, but he walks off.

7) Drool over Ruffian, with Johnny Kobra.

8) Zeke Mullet is backstage admiring his newly won TV title. He sees Cletus walk up, but Cletus says he wants no trouble. Cletus asks Zeke if he remembers this old friend, and Big Boss, Jr. walks up. Boss is very complimentary to Zeke about winning the title. Zeke says that when fights with Cletus that he loses all the fights. When he fights by himself, he wins. He asks Boss if maybe Cletus is not a good fighter. Cletus looks annoyed, but Boss says Cletus is a fine fighter. Boss says that he’s glad Cletus is a part of their group. Zeke says that we aren’t a group. I fight by myself. Boss replies that Zeke might like that to be the case, but it’s not. He pulls a document out of his jacket pocket, and explains that this is the contract Zeke and Cletus signed with him. He points to a line and tells Zeke that, until that date, he’s part of Boss’ group. If Zeke tries to do anything that Boss tells him not to, things will get bad for Zeke and Little Elmer. Cletus tells him that there’s nothing he can do about it, but it’s actually a good thing that Boss still wants to manage them. Zeke says he’s going to get Little Elmer and leave. Cletus says that Elmer’s not where Zeke left him. He and Boss figured Zeke would not want to be on their team anymore, so they got Little Elmer first. A couple of pills in a hamburger did the trick. Elmer’s fine, but they are going to keep him in a special place to make sure Zeke honors the contract. Zeke starts to punch Cletus, but Boss tells him that’s not a good idea to fight your own team. He tells Zeke he’s got 5 minutes to get his gear as the limo leaves in 6 minutes and he’d better be on it.

9) Barbaric Nature are already in the ring. The Dobermans music starts, and then is quickly replaced by the Blade Blasters. The Blasters come out, but they do not look like themselves. Lazer says that they don’t miss title matches, so they’ve signed a “hold harmless” form with WoW. Technically, they aren’t medically cleared to wrestle, but the form allows them to do so. If any further injury happens, it’s on them, not WoW. Ryan Regret says that was the worst mistake of their life. The Blasters fight hard, but the power and intensity of Barbaric Nature is too much for them in their weakened state. The Mad Arab submits Lazer with the Fat Camel Clutch to win the titles.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 11/19/83
Rassletorium
Sold Out
1280/47/***

We open with a recap of Barbaric Nature’s tag title win over the Blade Blasters last week. What condition will the Blasters be in next week at Survival Series.

1) The Dungeon Masters over Wall St.

2) The Queen of Mean over Spunky Sparks. Valley Girl comes out to help The Queen work over Sparks, but Starbright makes the save. Chaka Crass and Mynx join in the post-match brawl.

3) Bug Buster picks up his first win in this three-way match by defeating Johnny Kobra and Red Pirate Rogers. The Insectoids comes out and watch the match.

4) Next up is a 10-man battle royal to determine Zeke Mullet’s first challenger.
The participants are

Brit Buckingham/The Annihilator/the returning Juan Tijuana/The Shark/Ninja Star/Poppa Choppa/Jessie Wild/Vladimir the Cruel/Zen/Eventual winner….to the shock of all…Drool.

5) Evil Empire have something to say. They can’t believe all the effort being put into proving a conspiracy that isn’t there. Ace Arcadium says he’s finding secrets about EE and their deal with WoW that’s going to blow the lid off wrestling!! Guy and that half-crippled idiot Norman promise to beat EE in the next couple of weeks!! They call it all a delusional pipe-dream, a shared illusion. They mention that some unnamed wrestlers have approached them about joining EE. Invader says that EE is a closed universe. He and DSB are the alpha and omega. In fact, anyone having the audacity to think they belong in EE goes on their hit list. “It’s a long list, so it may take a while, but we will get to you.”

6) The Honor Society over The Van Winkles. Valedictorian promised a title shot to the Van Winkle who pinned him to win the match.

7) Cutthroat Carter, with Ryan Regret, over Bobby Blitzworth. Carter was going to attack him, but Regret called him off. Ryan said that “if he can’t make the match next week, they will find another chump to take his spot. Better the chump we know than the chump we don’t/”

8) The last commercial for next week’s Survival Series featured the Blade Blasters and pre-recorded comments from Conquer & Command. C&C reiterated that their illegal suspension would end next week. The Blasters, who still didn’t look strong, said that C&C could not stop them and Brohan no matter how beatdown they are.

9) The Cruiserweight Title match between O’ Hooligan and Arizona Chance takes some wild swings. It starts out like everyone expected based on O’ Hooligan’s recent attitude change. Mid-match, when Chance looked close to taking the belt, the old O’ Hooligan resurfaced. He took shortcut after shortcut. After one particularly egregious act, he mockingly offered to shakes Chance’s hand. A low-blow, missed by the ref, set up O’ Hooligan to put away Chance with the Barroom Brawl. The crowd raged at O’ Hooligan. Red Pirate Rogers came out to check on Chance. O’ Hooligan said “I bet you want a shot at this, too, huh, you stupid red idiot.” Rogers nodded, and O’ Hooligan said, “next week, Jolly Roger, you get a shot, and you will end up just like your friend here.”

[Thumper Moore III]

I’m marking out a bit over two things:
1. Zeke Mullet is the TV champ.
2. If Hogan, Warrior, and Sting were ever a trio, say, circa 1989 IRL, my gosh, who would it take to defeat them? I mean, if Hogan and Savage could beat like 26 people in their stupid triple cage match, you’d have to put the three of them against the entire roster of a combined WWF/WCW. If Blade Blasters and Brohan don’t win the elimination match, I blame shenanigans.

[cotguy130]

Survival of the Fittest 11/27/83
Silver Stadium
Great Crowd
11015/45/***

1) We open with a match made just last week, O’ Hooligan defending the Cruiserweight Title against Red Pirate Rogers. Arizona Chance is in Rogers corner. O’ Hooligan retains the title. He and Chance goes nose-to-nose after the match, and O’ Hooligan sucker punches him.

2) In the first “Survival” match of the night, BASILISK’s suspension is not rescinded as The Blade Blasters and Dude Brohan defeat Conquer & Command and Skullgore. The Blasters are not at full strength, and are both eliminated. Brohan goes one-on-two with Skullgore and Copper Commander for a while before finishing them off. He ends the match with a Big Bro Leg Drop on Skullgore. Skullgore tells the audience that BASILISK will return stronger than ever.

3) Cesar Sleaze comes out with Helga Schmidt. He sings her praises. She shows off the expensive jewelry and clothes that he’s bought her. Sleaze tells her that when he wins a title, then he will use his stroke in the company to get her a Ladies title match. She loves the sound of that, and plants a big kiss on him.

4) In the Ladies’ “Survival” match, Valley Girl, The Queen of Mean, and Chaka Crass defeat Princess Starbright, Spunky Sparks, and Mynx. VG and The Queen are the survivors.

5) During the intermission, Jessie Wild and Chameleon Kid go out into the crowd to give autographs and dance with the audience. The crowd loves it.

6) In the Steel Cage Survival Match, Ryan Regret’s team of Barbaric Nature and Cutthroat Carter defeat Howl n’ Roar and Bobby Blitzworth.

7) In the main event WoW Title match, The Valedictorian and Dicky Thunderbird go to an incredible 1-hour draw.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 12/3/83
The Ballroom
Sold Out
1280/42/***

1) Mynx over Chaka Crass.

2) Roboelectro approaches Ryan Regret backstage. He starts to say something, but Regret runs and Cutthroat Carter and Poppa Choppa confront Robo. Robo asks them to deliver a message to Regret since he won’t remain still long enough to receive the message. Carter asks what Robo could have to say to Regret that Regret would care to hear. Robo says that he would like to inform Regret that the liquid he sprayed in the Professor’s eyes was more toxic than he likely anticipated, and could cause permanent vision loss. Poppa yells, “that was the point, freak!”. He and Carter start clubbing Robo till he is on his knees. Robo stands up and throws both men off with such power that they land several feet away. Poppa and Carter run off. Robo says, “Deliver that message.”

3) Pop King defeats Ruffian and Terry Van Winkle in a three-way match.

4) Valley Girl over Princess Starbright.

5) Yuppie VP, with Mr. Tycoon, over Bug Buster. Once again, the Insectoids watch the match. This time, when BB is pinned, they openly show their appreciation for the loss.

6) Zen over GoblinKnight. After the match, Honest Al approaches Goblin. He says this is the first time he’s attempted to interview this wrestler. He asks Goblin what happened in the mausoleum that he spent so much time in. Goblin didn’t respond at once, then he let out an unearthly wail followed by guttural growls and unintelligible words. Al finally just walked off, leaving Goblin to babble on.

7) Cesar Sleaze, with Helga Schmidt, over The Shark by disqualification. The DQ came when Helga slapped the mat with a steel chair. Sleeze collapsed like he’d been hit, and Helga tossed the chair at Shark, who instinctively caught it. The ref looked up, saw Shark standing over Sleaze with a chair, and disqualified him.

8) The Flawless One over Damon Van Winkle.

9) O’ Hooligan retains the Cruiserweight title with a win over Red Pirate Rogers. This time, O’Hooligan demands that Arizona Chance not remain at ringside or he walks off and takes a countout loss but keeps the belt. Chance complies. Chance comes back afterwards and tells O’ Hooligan that the only reason he’s been able to beat he and Rogers is because he plays dirty. In a match where both men follow the rules, O’ Hooligan wouldn’t stand a chance. O’ Hooligan says that “I can beat either of you clean or dirty. The bottom line is that I’m better at everything than you.”

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 12/11/84
Boston Arena
Sold Out
1485/43/***

1) Dungeon Crawler over GoblinKnight. After the match, Honest Al asks DC about GoblinKnight and their long-running issues. DC says that he’d hoped we’d seen the last of the Goblin when he disappeared into that crypt. DC vows to make him disappear for good, next time.

2) The Insectoids over Nerd Alert. The Buggs ignored the Nerds attempts at a pre-match handshake. The Buggs were more intense than usual throughout the match, and they resorted to outright illegal tactics at times. The finishing Cootie Shuffle was set up by a low-blow from Mark Bugg. After throwing the Nerds out of the ring, Mark demanded a mic. He said that this is the first time they’ve spoken in front of the live crowd. Till now, he added, they didn’t have anything to say that the audience needed to hear. They need everybody to hear this. He says that, in wrestling, people play characters to spice up their personalities. It’s a fact of the business. Most of the boys watch out for each other and are careful when if they decide to go the character route so that their choice doesn’t infringe on anyone else. A recent signee by WoW has chosen an obviously offensive name and character to play. They can’t even speak his name out of disgust, but he knows who he is. “The disrespect he is showing us with his deplorable name choice goes beyond the bounds of human decency. We are giving him some time to reconsider his choice and change it. That’s all we ask…well, demand. If he refuses to reconsider his choice, we will take appropriate actions. This affront will not be settled lightly.”

3) Cletus Mullet and Big Boss, Jr. comes down. Cletus is scheduled to wrestle Drool. Boss says that Drool has a TV title match on the P4V next week, and Cletus is going to do some scouting for Zeke as well as soften Drool up a little before the match. Zeke doesn’t need the help, but Cletus likes to feel that he’s contributing in his own way. Drool does the softening as he picks up a win over Cletus. Big Boss, Jr. tries to signal to the back after the match, but nothing happens. He and Cletus aren’t happy as they rant and rave all the way back.

4) Arizona Chance is out to speak. He says that he’s disappointed in himself. He, of all people, should know a leopard can’t change its spots, and O’ Hooligan can’t change the fact that he’s a low-life scumbag. He said he’s spoken to Brohan about O’ Hooligan’s actions, and Dude also feels like a fool for trusting him. Dude can’t be here to do anything about it, so he’s taking it upon himself to make sure O’ Hooligan pays for being such a low-life. It will start with Chance taking the Cruiserweight Title.

5) Evil Empire over 8-Bit. Dark Invader reminds everyone that next week is when they make Average Jerk into a very Sub-Average Jerk, and they make Teeny Norman wish that surgery had actually failed. There won’t be enough surgeons in the world to put that little shrimp back together when they get done with him.

6) Chameleon Kid over Ruffian with Johnny Kobra

7) O’ Hooligan’s Pub is open and his guests are The Honor Society. The Flawless One invites O’ Hooligan to come out from behind the bar and sit with them. He accepts the invite. They congratulate him on making Brohan and Chance look like fools. O’ Hooligan says that people have been asking how could he do such a thing. He says that if people have been truly paying attention, then they shouldn’t be surprised. “What I did was exactly me. Why’d I do it? It seemed like fun, nothing more, nothing less. Chance seemed like the kind of chump it would be good to test my acting skills on, and I think I should win an Oscar. I fooled him, and all of you idiot fans.” The Society congratulate him on his ruse. He asks Valedictorian about the next match pitting Jet Set Strutter against Dicky Thunderbird. Both men are owed title shots, and this match will determine who gets the first challenge. Val says he doesn’t care. He’s going to beat both, so the order is irrelevant. He then asks TFO about the TV title. TFO says that he can’t believe a lifelong easy win like Zeke Mullet won the thing. He bets Reptile Ranger will never show his face again. Regardless, TFO says that he will soon have it, and he and Val will hold all the gold for as long as they feel like it.

8) In a potential MOTY, Dicky Thunderbird defeats Jet Set Strutter. This means that Thunderbird will challenge Val next week, and JSS will get the January shot against either Val or Thunderbird.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 12/17/83
Canada Centre
Sold Out
1547/45/**

We open in a press conference setting. Ace Arcadium is at the podium, and Mr. Fantasy is at an adjacent table with three guys in suits and sunglasses. Ace speaks. “I was with another organization when Evil Empire disrupted the wedding of Madame Tiki and Teeny Norman. As soon as I heard what happened, I made a point to look at the footage. For reasons of my own, I knew the identity of Dark Invader as soon as I saw him, and hearing him speak confirmed by suspicions. Like all of you, I was surprised when it was announced that WoW had signed them to a contract to continue wrestling here, when charges should’ve been filed and the criminals arrested. Later, Evil Empire confirm that their contract is for no compensation. They were working for free, as it were, just because they wanted to be able to terrorize the promotion. There were no repercussions for Death Star Boy striking Honest Al, either, and only Al’s black eye for the next few weeks reminded us that it had even happened. Death Star Boy claimed his actions were payback for poor treatment when he was Star Boy, and that Dark Invader had set him on the right track. He said that if he wasn’t going to be allowed to be happy in WoW, then nobody was. Anyone who followed Star Boy’s WoW career knows that this is a delusion. He was a favorite of the fans and the office, and was given every chance to succeed. By and large, he took advantage of those chances and was indeed successful. When I deduced the man behind the Dark Invader’s mask, I knew I had to get involved. You see, this man had brought nothing but misery wherever he goes. The truth be known; he wasn’t a wrestler. He’s learned obviously, and, I’m embarrassed to say, appears to have figured me out. Thank God that Average Guy is around and appears to have DI’s number. Since I wasn’t having much luck stopping him in the ring, I’ve devoted time to discovering what’s going on with Evil Empire and WoW. The man behind the DI mask doesn’t do anything for free. He’s motivated by cash and nothing else. Something has to be going on, and, ladies and gentlemen, I found what that is. Working with WoW’s independent auditors, I found a history of hidden payments going back to just before Evil Empire’s debut at the wedding. These payments were directed to a shell company owned by a Kainan Klawsryke. Kainan Klawsryke is one of many aliases for the man who wears the DI mask. Evil Empire haven’t been working for free at all. They’ve been the most highly compensated wrestlers on the roster. It didn’t take long to figure out who authorized these payments, the boss himself, Mr. Fantasy. Let me remind you, Fantasy was paying them before the wedding debacle. He knew what was going to happen, and sanctioned it. He helped destroy what should’ve been a beautiful moment in WoW history. Instead, he created a blight. I’m going to turn this over to Mr. Fantasy himself. He will explain who the men are with him, and what the future of WoW holds.”

Fantasy steps up. “First off, Go to Hell, Arcadium. You had no business sticking your nose where it didn’t belong. Nobody was getting hurt. The fans were getting good matches, and they enjoyed hating Evil Empire. Yes, I set up the wedding so they could ruin it. Big deal. Tiki and Norman look like idiots out there acting all in love. Maybe they are, I don’t know. Don’t care. They’re both jokes. I thought it would be funny to watch them get humiliated on national television, and I was right. I sat in my chair and laughed my ass off. Evil Empire embarrassed them, Brohan, Chance, and all the other idiots who tried to help them. They even made Ace-y boy here look like a fool in the ring.” Mr. Fantasy made an obscene gesture at Arcadium. “Like I said, you little piece of trash, Go To Hell. By the way, as my last act as owner and CEO of WoW, I have signed Evil Empire to a real WoW contract for a whole lot of money. I look forward to watching them wreck this whole place. If I’m not here to run it, then I want to see it destroyed.” With that, Fantasy walked off, followed by the men in suits.

Ace retook the podium. “Those were not his planned remarks. The three men who just left with Fantasy were FBI agents. He is being arrested on federal charges dating back several years, before he established WoW. There’s no concern there. WoW is a legitimate organization. Fantasy was involved in some shady practices with some earlier business endeavors. What does this have to do with Evil Empire? Kainan Klawsryke discovered Fantasy’s part in the crimes, and threatened to ruin him unless he played along. Mr. Fantasy was being blackmailed. He was supposed to explain all this to you himself, but decided to take the low road. As for the future of WoW with him out of the picture, here’s the story. He has already sold his controlling interest in the company to a consortium of WoW company officers already in place. The man with the most shares is Albert Overman, whom you know as Honest Al. Al’s content to continue doing his job as interviewer, and has created a committee to oversee the company’s direction. His decision-making authority will only come into play when absolutely necessary. Ladies and gentlemen, that wraps up this press conference. Let’s turn our attention where it belongs going forward. In the ring…not in the boardroom or accountant’s office.”

1) In the opening match, the Frat Boy Bullies defeat The American Heroes when The Executors provide a distraction. All four men work over the Heroes, then The Executors turn on the Bullies and beat them up as well.

2) Mr. Tycoon, with Yuppie VP, defeats Bug Buster. After Wall Street leave, The Insectoids charge the ring and attack Bug Buster. He manages to fight them off and get away without much damage. The Insectoids chant “Change Your Name” at him as he exits.

3) In a non-title match, Arizona Chance defeats O’ Hooligan. O’ Hooligan makes the match a joke, however, by laying down after the initial lock-up. He writhes around in mock agony. “C’mon Chance, put me out of my misery, here. It’s the only time you will ever get a three-count on me, so take advantage of it.” Chance refuses to play along. He and the ref converse, and O’ Hooligan starts yelling “Collusion!” while laughing. Finally, the ref calls for the bell and awards the match to Chance, claiming O’ Hooligan is “unable to continue.” This enrages O’ Hooligan who tries to attack the ref, but Chance runs him off.

4) Princess Starbright and Spunky Sparks over The Queen of Mean and Valley Girl.

5) Moon Man over Brit Buckingham.

6) We are in the ring for our next match, Evil Empire versus Teeny Norman and Average Guy. Empire are already in the ring. Dark Invader says that he doesn’t know where Ace Arcadium got his facts from, but everything the fans have seen tonight is a lie. It doesn’t matter at this point, though, because Fantasy’s gone and Evil Empire are here for a long time. The announcers say we have to cut to the back. We see Average Guy laid out cold with medical personnel attending to him. Norman is very upset, but says that he made a promise and he’s keeping it. Norman goes to the ring alone. Empire laugh at him. Then, Arcadium’s music plays. He comes to the ring and says that Guy managed to speak enough to ask him to take his place. Empire say no, but the ref allows it. Empire attack Norman and Ace, but they fight back hard. Norman gets the better of DSB and the match officially begins. Most of the match is Empire working over Norman, and how he stays alive in the match is a miracle. He finally tags out, and Ace is up against DI. Norman is useless at this point, so its two-on-one again. Ace fares better, however, and takes DSB out of the match with a high-impact move onto Norman’s bicycle. A few minutes later, Ace hits Game Over on Dark Invader for the pin. Norman makes his way back to the ring, and they are joined by Madame Tiki who celebrates with them. Norman says he wants to cut it short so he can check on Average Guy. Ace gives him an odd look, but then adds “definitely, you go ahead.” Norman and Tiki leave, but Ace remains behind and milks the cheers for quite a while.

7) Ace is only stops when the Executors music hits. They tell him to take a walk, as its their time to talk. He says he’s lucky he’s in a good mood, or he would kick both their asses. They ignore him and address the crowd. Their comments are a shock to all. Merc says that they haven’t even told the office this yet, so everybody is hearing for the first time. They aren’t going back to the states with WoW. Their contract is up, and they are staying in Canada. They want to be where they’re appreciated. They will never get a fair shake in the US as long as teams like the Heroes and the Blade Blasters are around. American fans don’t have a clue who to support, as they obviously don’t recognize true talent. It doesn’t matter if Fantasy’s in charge or not, they will never get what they’ve earned in WoW. Spazz leads the crowd in an off-key rendition of “O, Canada”, and Merc says “We’re home”.

8) Zeke Mullet successfully defends the TV title against Drool. Big Boss orders Zeke to attack Drool after the match, but he just walks off.

[cotguy130]

1982 WoW Year-Awards Presentation 12/22/83
Chitown Complex

For the second year in a row, the Year-Awards are held in the ChiTown Complex.
The Nominees for the fan-voted “Most Hated” category are
Dark Invader
Death Star Boy
Skullgore
Valedictorian
The Flawless One

The “Most Hated” wrestler for 1983 is Death Star Boy. He comes to the podium exhibiting a lot of enthusiasm for his win. He tells the assembled group that there’s no way they could hate him more than he’s always hated them, even when he had to pretend they meant something. He said he was following in the example of his hero, Mr. Fantasy, and gave the middle finger to the crowd.

Next up is the fan-voted “Most Popular” Category. The nominees are

Dicky Thunderbird
Arizona Chance
Ace Arcadium
Average Guy
Aurora

The “Most Popular” wrestler for 1983 is, in a close race, Dicky Thunderbird. Only a handful of votes separated all 5 nominees. Thunderbird insists that the other three nominees present join him on stage due to the narrow margin of victory. Average Guy is still recovering from the attack on Weekend Wrasslin’ and is not cleared to travel. As they are congratulating Thunderbird, Evil Empire re-enter the room. Dark Invader asks about Guy, then DSB “reminds” him that Guy staged an attack to avoid having to fight them. Ace says that everyone knows they arranged the “hit” on Guy. They plead innocence, but say that’s not a bad idea. DSB says it’s better to be hated than loved, because love gets in the way of success. Thunderbird challenges DSB to prove it in the ring, and DSB says that he wasn’t talking about an actual match, of course. He was speaking metaphysically. Thunderbird says that he will beat up DSB physically and metaphysically. He moves toward Empire, and Al orders them to leave.

We come to Tag Team of the Year. The nominees are:
The Blade Blasters
Evil Empire
Barbaric Nature
Conquer & Command

There were only four nominees this year as the committee felt these were the only teams deserving. 1983’s Tag Team of the Year are, for the second time, The Blade Blasters. Buzzsaw & Lazer take the podium, before they can even begin, the unthinkable happens. Evil Empire, Barbaric Nature, Poppa Choppa, and Cutthroat Carter charge into the room and attack the Blade Blasters. The room was populated by the more popular wrestlers, and they came to the Blasters aid. Dicky Thunderbird went after Death Star Boy and Ace Arcadium went after Dark Invader. Ryan Regret was running around trying to spray something from his bottle into people’s eyes. Finally, Aurora tackled him. He dropped the bottle which she picked up. She started smacking in the head with the bottle. It broke open and the liquid poured all over Regret’s face. He started screaming, and she let him up. At that point, Troglo knocked her out with a shot from his club. Buzzsaw speared Troglo through the wooden podium, disintegrating it, and into the wall, leaving a Troglo-sized hole. The brawling continued all over the room until armed security guards entered. Al pleaded with them to stop, and said that if order wasn’t restored immediately then everyone in the room would be arrested. It slowed enough that the police could separate everybody. Medical teams were let in to attend to the injured, Ryan Regret being amongst the most in need. Al ordered everyone not needing attention to leave immediately, and requested a policeman accompany them to make sure the situation doesn’t escalate elsewhere. Al then order than the broadcast be cut.