Cotguy's WoW

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 4/15/84
Boston Arena
Sold Out
915/***/44

1) Spunky Sparks over the Queen of Mean.

2) Barbaric Nature, with Ryan Regret, over The Dobermans.

3) Bug Buster over Mark Bugg. This was scheduled as a tag match, but Mike Bugg was injured. Before the match, BB called the Buggs “delusional” for their obsession with their insect characters.

4) The Honor Society are with Honest Al. Val declares himself done with the challenge of Jet Set Strutter and Dicky Thunderbird. Al says that as long as they win, WoW will consider them contenders and Val will face them. Val says that “we will see about that”, then says he looking forward to Average Guy. He says that if he can beat two athletes like JSS and Thunderbird that he can handle a slob like Guy easily. Al asks if The Flawless One has any comments, but TFO defers to the champ.

5) Haka Tonga, with Prof. Gigawatt, over Ruffian, with Johnny Kobra.

6) Lyndi Harker and Zeke Mullet are talking when Cletus and Big Boss charge in. Boss tells her to leave. Cletus grabs her and she puts him in a hammerlock. Zeke says that he is done with them, and to not waste time pulling out the contract because “Miss Lyndi done helped me get it fixed. You don’t own me no more.” Boss screams that he will “always own you, hillbilly.” He slaps Zeke. Zeke puts him in the Grizzly Bear Hug. Cletus tries to break it, and Harker KOs him. Zeke drops Boss to the floor. Lyndi says she has to go keep a promise.

7) The Master Blasters retain the WoW Tag Team Titles with a win over Wall Street. Lyndi Harker comes out with Wall Street, or more specifically, Mr. Tycoon. Harker doesn’t interfere during the match. Before the match, Tycoon shows her off like a model. Yuppie looks annoyed.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 4/21/84
Canada Centre
Great Crowd
1805/41/***

1) Exotic Rick, with The Thinker, over Moon Man. Rick gives out his hotel room address again, but then declares that none of the women in the room are worthy to show up.

2) Ryan Regret comes out with Troglo, Papa Choppa, and Cutthroat Carter. He says this is the next installment of the “Random Team Challenge.” The first three men who walk out meet his guys in an elimination match. The first three guys through are Magnus Muscle, Zen, and Pop King. Regret’s team does win, but Carter is the only survivor.

3) The Queen of Mean over Gorgon Tokoro and Spunky Sparks in a three-way match.

4) Average Guy and Princess Starbright on everyone’s favorite late-night talk show. The main topic is the actions of Ace Arcadium. Guy doesn’t know what was going on in Ace’s head except maybe jealousy since Ace couldn’t beat Dark Invader and Guy had little problem with him. Guy is congratulated on winning the March Madness tournament. He credits the win to the inspiration provided by Princess Starbright. He says that he’s heard the comments of Valedictorian. He promises that he will beat Val at Champ Clash, and that Princess will celebrate with him. The host asks Princess when she will be able to return to action. She says she doesn’t know. The injuries that Ace caused were severe. The Host comments that Ace has been seem in Vegas since the suspension quite a bit, and wonders if that means anything. Guy says that it means he’s lost his mind and his wages. As they are cutting to commercial, Valley Girl walks out unexpectedly. Security mobilizes, but she says she comes in peace. First, she thanks Guy for watching out for Starbright. She then tells Starbright that she better come back to action, because “if anyone’s running you out of the business, it’s me.” Val hugs a shocked Princess who has tears in her eyes as Val walks off. Val turns back and says, “we’re still not friends, Princess. I don’t like you, but I do respect you.”

5) Max Attack over Brit Buckingham.

6) Cletus Mullet and Big Boss Jr. accost Lyndi Harker. They demand that she tell them who gave her advice on how to get Zeke out of the contract. When she says it doesn’t matter who it is, they say they have a message for her to deliver to her friend. Just then, Mr. Tycoon walks up and says “tell him yourself.” Cletus and Boss look pale. Tycoon says that the only thing he dislikes as much as poor people is fake rich people, and Boss Jr. is as fake as it gets.” Boss says that Tycoon had no right to interfere in their business. Tycoon says that he couldn’t care less about their business, but he did a favor for someone…mainly so they would owe him back. Tycoon tells Boss that “as dumb as you are, you still know that contract wouldn’t hold up. However, I am a fair man. I propose this. Have Cletus and Zeke wrestle for the title. If Cletus wins, then Zeke voluntarily comes back to your stable.” Harker says that wasn’t part of our deal, and Tycoon says that it doesn’t matter. “I did what you ask, and you owe me. I expect you to follow through on our agreement.” Cletus tells Boss that he can beat Zeke, so Boss agrees to get the match made.

7) The Insectoids over Bug Buster and Crash. After the bell, Mark Bugg grabs BB’s exterminator backpack and flees with his brother.

8) Jet Set Strutter is out for an interview. He congratulates Average Guy for winning the tournament, and says that he hopes Guy beats Valedictorian. Either way, he expects to cross paths with Val again soon, whether Val likes it or not. WoW knows what a commodity JSS is, and they won’t keep him out of the title picture long. JSS says he understands that, as good as he is, he can always get better, and the way you do that is to wrestle the best. Valedictorian and The Flawless One are two of the best even if he’s loathe to admit it. He says he enjoys challenging himself, whereas Val just wants to skate by without any effort. This is why Val may be good, but will never be the best.

9) In a TV title match, Zeke Mullet defeats Cesar Sleaze. As soon as the match is over, Helga is in Sleaze’s face She says that she’s gotten him two chances, now she wants her one chance. Sleaze says he’s working on it. Schmidt tells him to work harder.

[cotguy130]

Champ Clash 4/28/84
San Juan Stadium
Sold Out
4819/48/**

WoW break in another new venue with a trip to the Island of Puerto Rico.

1) In a TV title match, Zeke Mullet defeats Cletus Mullet with Big Boss, Jr. The match isn’t very good. Mr. Tycoon and Lyndi Harker comes out. Harker’s wearing a beautiful gown with a fur coat and lots of diamonds. Tycoon tells the Mullets that they should be embarrassed by the job they did. Tycoon holds up a document in his hand. “This is a contract for a steel-cage title match between the two of you. The title will be on the line, and whoever loses leaves WoW for one year.” He hands it to Zeke and says “its perfectly legal. Because I wrote it, not that ridiculous gnome. Read it over.” He tossed it in the ring and escorted Harker away. Cletus pulled a horseshoe out of his overalls and walloped Zeke.

2) O’ Hooligan’s Pub is open for business, and he is the guest. He sits on a stool at the bar instead of behind it. “A great man once said, when you have the answers then I change the questions. The difference is that you won’t ever have the answers to me. I don’t dance to the beat of a different drummer, I beat up my drummer and destroyed his stupid drum. The last 12 months have been, even for me, a little odd. Most of it was my own doing, some not. Which is which is one of those answers you’ll never have. I ask that talk-show guy if I could come back and apologize. He said no way. You believe that? I’m trying to be nice, and he won’t let me. Smart guy, actually. I don’t ever mean an apology. I would’ve punched him again. Anyhow, I’m here to let you know something that I think’s really cool. You know that movie that Brohan’s making? ANYTHING GOES. Guess what? I’m in it, too. They added a character and Brohan asked me to audition. This was when I was playing nice. After I stopped playing nice, he asked the movie guys to fire me, but they said I was too perfect. Brohan has to live with it. The best part is that my character and his are buddies. That’s why they call it acting. He’s miserable and I love it. Well, kids, I’ll be seeing you around. Brohan and I will get back at the same time, and I’ll go back to beating him and Chance and all the other goody punks up. Now get that camera off me unless you’re paying scale. I’m a movie star now.”

3) In a WoW tag title match, The Master Blasters retain against the Devin and Terry Van Winkle.

4) Exotic Rick, with The Thinker, over The Shark. The Thinker says that once Zeke Mullet’s done wasting everybody’s time with these nobodies that The Exotic One is next in line.

5) In WoW’s first multi-wrestler title defense, Jessie Wild defeats The Chameleon Kid and defending champion Arizona Chance to win the Cruiserweight title. Wild tells Chance that since he didn’t pin him to win the title that he will give Chance a rematch right away.

6) The announcers say we have a situation in the back, so we immediately cut to Barbaric Nature brawling with Haka Tonga and Reptile Ranger. BN have the advantage. We overhear some say that it was a ‘sneak attack’. Regret calls BN off and shouts in Tonga’s face that he shouldn’t have come back. They will make sure he regret’s it.

7) In a ladies’ title match, Madame Tiki retains against The Queen of Mean. As Tiki celebrates, Cesar Sleaze and Helga Schmidt walk out. Helga makes Cesar approach Tiki. He timidly asks if his friend might be given a title match. Helga shoves her way around him and says to forget him, he’s useless. Helga demands a title match. Tiki asks, “Who are you?” This infuriates Helga who slaps Tiki. Sleaze immediately pulls Helga away before Tiki can respond. Helga tries to pull away like she wants a piece of Tiki, but she isn’t trying very hard. Tiki watches with amusement as Sleaze and Schmidt retreat.

8) In a rematch from March Madness, Dark Invader gets a win over Mighty Leo.

9) In a WoW World title match, Average Guy, with Princess Starbright, defeats Valedictorian to win the WoW title. The Flawless One tries to interfere in his post-match revelry, and gets laid out for his trouble.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 5/5/84
Empire Gardens
Great Crowd
1137/40/**

1) Al welcomes the audience to the show, and brings out WoW’s newest signees, the returning Gladiators. Massacre said that their first run in WoW didn’t go like they planned because they got involved with that idiot, Ryan Regret. He said they’re back, they have a clean slate, and they are going to be the team to knock the Master Blasters off their throne. “We are born to conquer all we see in front of us, and WoW is no exception.”

2) Magnus Muscle comes out. He says that the Gladiators aren’t the only ones returning to the roster tonight, and he brings out his partner, Pat Cabbage. He says they are the Muscle Men and they are here to make an impact. They go on to defeat The Dobermans. The Gladiators come out and start flexing. Massacre says, “You punks really shouldn’t have tried to steal our thunder. The Gladiators are the story, not you pathetic excuses for “muscle men”. What a joke of a name. It looks like Brute and I have picked our first steppingstone on our way to the titles.”

3) Bobby Blitzworth says that today is a big day for the WoW Tag division. He introduces a video showcasing his partner, former baseball star, Slammer Johnson. In the video, Johnson says that he and Blitz will be called The All-Pros, because they were the best of the best in their chosen sports. They will be the best of the best in professional wrestling.

4) Wall Street, with Lyndi Harker, over 8-Bit. Tycoon spends more time talking to Harker than to Yuppie VP. She does not interfere in the match at all, but remains quietly at ringside.

5) Crash over Mike Bugg. After the bell, Mark Bugg attacks and they beat Crash with Bug Buster’s exterminator backpack. Bug Buster was not in the arena this night.

6) Freedom Fighter over Skullgore. Before the match, FF says that he wants Copper Commander. Skullgore says that Copper Cmdr. Is a tag wrestler right now. BASILISK members have specific roles and they stick to them. FF says that they use them as excuses for cowardice.

7) Drool over Ruffian with Johnny Kobra.

8) Jet Set Strutter over The Flawless One.

9) Exotic Rick, with The Thinker, defeats Zeke Mullet to win the TV Title. Cletus and Big Boss Jr. come out to mock Zeke. Cletus says that he would’ve liked to have won the title in that cage match they’ve got coming up, but running Zeke out of the WoW will be enough reward for now.

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 5/12/19
Golden Plaza
Great Crowd
1016/43/**

Tonight’s episode of SNS slam will feature 2 10-person battle royals, with the winner of each taking home $10,000.

1) The first battle royal features:

Bobby Blitzworth/The Shark/Haka Tonga/He-Beast/Ruffian/Jessie Wild/Johnny Kobra/Max Attack/Brute/Eventual winner….The Annihilator.

2) War Hawk, with Danger Zone, over Iron Mask, with Copper Commander. Freedom Fighter comes to ringside to engage Copper Commander, but is jumped from behind by Ninja Shadow.

3) Ryan Regret’s “Random Team Challenge” is live again. This time, Pat Cabbage, Magnus Muscle, and Chameleon Kid answer. Regret’s team is taken down to one survivor, Troglo, but they get the win. Regret says that these are getting too easy, and he may end them soon out of boredom.

4) Next up is the ladies’ battle royal featuring:

Auntie Voodoo/Aurora/Countess/Sgt. Shipley/Valley Girl/Glam/Mother Russia/Helga Schmidt/Mynx/Eventual winner…Gorgon Tokoro.

5) Arizona Chance over GoblinKnight.

6) Honest Al is the new WoW champion, Average Guy, and Princess Starbright. Guy riles up the crowd and they chant his name. Guy says that unlike Valedictorian, he will fight anybody, anywhere, and as often as it takes to prove he’s the best in WoW. He encourages Jet Set Strutter, Dicky Thunderbird, The Flawless One, or anybody else who deserves a shot to step up. Good guys and bad guys are welcome. He thanks Starbright again for being an inspiration these last few weeks. He closes by saying that he’s got a calendar at home and he’s marking off big red Xs every day. “What are these Xs counting down to? The day that low-down, dirty dog, Ace Arcadium comes back. Well, I should say the day he’s allowed to come back. That snake has to know what’s waiting for him, and I don’t think he’s man enough to face the beating he’s got coming. Prove me wrong, Ace. Show up, so I can send you back out in a body bag.”

7) Cesar Sleaze over Juan Tijuana. Sleaze tells the crowd that Helga is recovering from “almost winning” the battle royal earlier, and that he is “this close” to getting her title match set-up.

8) Honest Al is with Wall Street and Lyndi Harker. Al scolds Harker for hanging out with these “pretentious people.” He says she’s too good for them, and he hopes she doesn’t follow their ways. Tycoon starts to speak, but she asks if she can handle it. She tells Al not to judge who she spends time with. She is returning a favor to Tycoon for helping her free Zeke Mullet. She made a promise and she’s keeping it. What happens next is up to her and no one else, not WoW, not Tycoon, not anybody. Al starts t ask Yuppie how he feels about it, but Harker says that “The VP and I are cool, and that’s all you need to know.”

9) In a WoW tag title match, The Master Blasters retain against Evil Empire.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 5/18/84
The Ballroom
Sold Out
602/43/**

1) Chief Buffalo, with Helga Schmidt, over Red Pirate Rogers and Haka Tonga in a three-way match.

2) Mynx over Chaka Crass.

3) The Gladiators over The Muscle Men.

4) In a Steel Cage Match, Zeke Mullet defeated Cletus Mullet. Per the stipulation in the contract, Cletus would have to leave WoW for one year. Big Boss Jr. got in the cage and begged Zeke to stay with him. He offered to re-do the contract. At the same time, Cletus was begging Boss to figure out a way to keep him on the roster. Zeke asked Cletus what was going on. “This whole thing started because you said we had to leave WoW, and I didn’t want to. Now that you have to, your beggin’ not to.” Cletus said, “Well, yea, it was my decision then. I don’t like being run off by nobody. Boss, you gotta get me outta this here stipulation.” Just then, Tycoon walked out. “Cletus, Boss can’t help you now. For a guy who likes to manipulate contracts, he doesn’t follow the one rule. Always read. Boss, Cletus, the contract you signed for this match stipulates both of you leave for one year. You’re welcome, Zeke.” Zeke laughs and leaves the ring. Boss and Cletus sit and sob as the cage is raised.

5) Bug Buster, with Crash, over GoblinKnight. The Insectoids are notable in their absence.

6) Copper Commander comes out and calls out Freedom Fighter. He says he’s going rogue for this op, and Countess will be angry, but he doesn’t care. One thing he won’t abide is somebody going after his mask. FF comes out and says that he feels the same way about his. The difference is that FF wears a mask to protect his identity for noble reasons. BASILISK goons wear masks out of cowardice. CC says that we wear masks not out of fear, but to cause fear, and it’s obviously working on you. FF asks if he wants a match or not. Before CC can answer, Skullgore and Iron Mask come out. They say there will be no match. CC tells FF to ignore them. He will gladly face and defeat him one-on-one. Skullgore isn’t happy.

7) A P4V commercial airs for next week’s Monster Mayhem. The two features matches are Average Guy defending the WoW title against The Valedictorian, and Exotic Rick defending the TV Title against Reptile Ranger.

8) Wall Street, with Lyndi Harker, over The Dungeon Masters.

9) In a No-Holds-Barred match, Gorgon Tokoro defeats Gothica.

[cotguy130]

Monster Mayhem 5/25/84
Prince Charlie Hall
Great Crowd
2499/47/***

1) In a ladies’ title match, Madame Tiki defeated Mynx. When the match ended, Helga Schmidt came charging from the back. Cesar Sleaze was trying to calm her down, while Chief Buffalo was egging her on. Helga got right in Tiki’s face. “Look, here, Tiki. Stop acting like you don’t know who I am. My name is Helga Schmidt. I may not be a big name yet in this business, but you got to start somewhere and I’m starting with you. Give me a title match.” Tiki replies, “Helga, title matches are earned. You’ve never wrestled a match in this company much less won one.” With that, Helga slapped Tiki, who just smiled. “You’re lucky that I’m in a good mood, Schmidt. I’ll tell you what. You win three matches by the end of July and I will give you a title match, AND neither of these clowns can be at ringside.” Tiki gestured to Sleaze and the Chief. “Three matches?” Helga asked. “Three matches,” replied Tiki, “in the next 8 weeks.”
Helga offered her hand and Tiki took it. Quickly, Helga’s hand turned red as it was obvious Tiki was applying some extra pressure. Helga extricated herself quickly and walked off, motioning for Sleaze and the Chief to follow.

2) Bobby Blitzworth introduced Slammer Johnson, his new tag team partner. Johnson said that the term All-Pro defined them on the gridiron and diamond, and it will define them in the squared circle.

3) Freedom Fighter and The American Heroes defeated Conquer & Command and Skullgore. Iron Mask and Skullgore were hard on Copper Commander throughout the match, and at the end, they left him without allies to take a beating and the pinfall.

4) Exotic Rick, with The Thinker, retained the TV title against Reptile Ranger. After the match, Thinker said that he would have a special announcement on the next Superstar Saturday.

5) We cut backstage to where Sleaze and Buffalo are arguing. Helga Schmidt is pacing around, and finally yells at them to be quiet. She’s got to figure out how to win 3 matches in 8 weeks. Sleaze mutter that he doesn’t think she could win 3 matches in 8 years. She screams at him to get out. Chief Buffalo says that he has an idea.

6) The Master Blasters retain the WoW Tag Titles by defeating Papa Choppa and Cutthroat Carter with Ryan Regret.

7) Dicky Thunderbird over Ninja Shadow with Countess.

8) In a rematch for the WoW Title, Average Guy, with Princess Starbright, defeats The Valedictorian. The Flawless One starts out at ringside, but is sent to the back by the referee after an attempt to interfere.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 6/2/84
Rassletorium
Great Crowd
1047/41/*8

1) Ryan Regret is out with Papa Choppa, The Mad Arab, and Cutthroat Carter. He says that this will be the last “Random Team Challenge”, as he and his boys are tired of beating up nobodies. This challenge is met by Haka Tonga and The Dungeon Masters. Haka says that you’re right about this being the last one, because we’re shutting you down. Haka and Dungeon Crawler are the survivors as Regret’s team loses.

2) The announcers say that we are going to show an interesting piece of video. WoW wouldn’t normally show a video package for a suspended wrestler, but Average Guy requested they play it. This was sent in by the individual in question. We cut to the inside of a smoky, dark casino. We pan around until settling on a guy standing over a roulette table. We see him from the back. He moves to a craps table and throws a pair of dice. He then sits at a poker table. The camera pan around to the front, and through the haze and darkness we can barely make out Ace Arcadium. He’s got dark hair instead of his usual blond, and his clothes are a dark. He picks up a deck of cards and deals out a hand. He picks up the hand, and then throws down a card. It’s the joker, but the face is Average Guy’s. Ace then slams his palm down on the joker and leaves a card on top of it. It is the Ace of Spades. Ace chuckles as we fade out.

3) Glam over Helga Schmidt. The announcers remind us that she now has to win 3 matches in 6 weeks.

4) The Honor Society come out. Val says it’s obvious that WoW isn’t going to give him or his partner the respect they deserve. They need someone who knows how to play the system. They don’t care if it’s by fair or foul, but they will be respected, and they will get every single thing they have coming. They are the best, whether they have a title or not, and for WoW not recognize that is the height of idiocy. Now, however, they have that advocate. They have a games master. They can focus on title and money, and let their man handle the rest. Who is it? They will let people know when it suits them.

5) Zeke Mullet over Brit Buckingham.

6) Mr. Tycoon, with Lyndi Harker, over Arizona Chance. While Harker doesn’t interject herself into the match, her ringside presence seems bigger than in prior weeks. Chance manages to ignore her, but Tycoon seems to feed off of her being there, and picks up a big solo win.

7) Drool over Vladimir the Cruel.

8) Dicky Thunderbird over Death Star Boy with Dark Invader. Thunderbird takes out both members of EE with a big cross-body after the match.

9) Exotic Rick, with The Thinker, over Damon Van Winkle to retain the TV Title. Rick continues to assault DVW after the match. Terry and Devin are headed to ringside to aid their brother when the Honor Society cut them off and commence their own assault. Quickly, The Honor Society and Exotic Rick are standing over the Van Winkles. The Thinker says that “for all you morons out there, take a look. The Think Tank is back in operation. I will be handling the affairs for the top three wrestlers in WoW going forward, and the will win titles. Guy, Strutter, Thunderbird, Chance, Van Winkles…your time is over. Now is the time of the Think Tank.”

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 6/10/84
Boston Arena
Sold Out
867/41/**

1) Devin Van Winkle over The Annihilator. He is joined by his brothers and father in the ring. He says they’ve challenged the Think Tank to a match, but the Thinker has so declined to respond. He says they will get hold of them one way or another, and Franz is back to watch their back and keep The Thinker from interfering.

2) Spunky Sparks over Helga Schmidt. She is down to 3 wins in 5 weeks. Technically, it’s only 4 weeks as, despite her constant petitioning of the office, she will not be part of the Tag Team Invitational P4V.

3) The All-Pros over The Frat Boy Bullies.

4) Ryan Regret is out with all 4 of his men. He says that Haka and The Dungeon Masters caught them on an off-week last week. Any other time, they would’ve ended the “random team challenge” in style. He reminds everybody that he shut it down, and the minor setback had nothing to do with it. Now, he’s decided to switch things up. While Barbaric Nature will always be there lurking in the wings, he and his boys want to focus on beating guys one-on-one. He tells Haka, He-Beast, and Dungeon Crawler that if they want a piece of Regret’s boys, it will be mano a mano. Finally, he hears Professor Gigawatt has something in store concerning Roboelectro. He tells the Professor to leave the tin man’s parts in the dumpster where they belong and get out of the business before he’s blinded, or worse, permanently.

5) Bug Buster over Yuppie VP. BB asks for the mic. He demands his property back. Since the Insectoids stole his exterminator backpack that had been his father’s, they’ve only had the guts to make it to one show. If they’ve damaged it, there is no power on Hell or Earth that can stop him from tearing those little roaches limb from limb.

6) Freedom Fighter is preparing to be interviewed when he’s attacked by Conquer and Command. Copper Commander goes after the mask, but War Hawk and Danger Zone run them off.

7) The Honor Society, with The Thinker, over The Dobermans.

8) Exotic Rick joins his Think Tank teammates in the ring. Thinker reminds everybody of the original Think Tank, and comments on what a joke they were compared to this incarnation. He calls Jet Set Strutter the weakest link of all. Rick offers JSS a shot at the TV title. He says he looks better wearing it than JSS ever could, and will one day look even better with the WoW title around his waist. Val says that the three of them may just pass the titles around since they are the only ones who deserve to wear any gold.

9) Average Guy, with Princess Starbright, over Dicky Thunderbird to retain the WoW title. The Think Tank attack Guy and Thunderbird after the match. Princess Starbright takes a hard bump on some incidental contact. Valley Girl runs out and carries Starbright to the back. The Van Winkles charge out and the Think Tank bail.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 6/16/84
Canada Centre
Sold Out
1575/39/**

As the show opens, we see The Executors backstage. Al tells us that this is a one-time appearance since we are in their home. They will be taking on the American Heroes.

1) Mynx over Helga Schmidt. There are three shows between now and the July Ladies Night P4V. She has to win a match at all three shows. The announcer surmise that Helga’s odd little run will come to an end in two weeks.

2) Mother Russia over Gothica and Auntie Voodoo in a three-way match.

3) The Executors defeat The American Heroes. The Heroes try to offer a handshake after the match, but the Executors reject their overtures.

4) The Shark over Chief Buffalo.

5) Max Attack over Cesar Sleaze.

6) A commercial for the upcoming Tag Team Invitational airs. The featured teams are The Adventurers and Wall Street, who will meet in the first round. In a twist, Wall Street is repped by Tycoon and Lyndi Harker, with Yuppie VP nowhere to be found. Harker innocently says that she looks forward to rooting for her new best guy friends as they progress through the tournament. The other first round matches are Barbaric Nature, in their last team venture for a while, versus The Dungeon Masters. Evil Empire will take on the All-Pro, and Conquer & Command will meet the Gladiators.

7) The Gladiators defeat The Muscle Men for the second time.

8) Jet Set Strutter is out. He talks about the new Think Tank and Thinker’s comparison to the original. He says there’s no place that’s ever existed where he, O’ Hooligan, and Pierre take a backseat to anyone. In fact, he talked to Pierre the other day, and the giant is well aware of Thinker’s comments. If Thinker doesn’t stop running his mouth about what his boys will do, then Strutter may have to get him some enormous help to shut it for him.

9) Exotic Rick, with The Thinker, over Zeke Mullet to retain the TV title. Rick says afterwards that Strutter can bring an army of giants, and they will fall short,.

[cotguy130]

Tag Team Invitational 6/23/84
Great Crowd
Olympus Colosseum
6636/47/**

1) In the first match of the first round, Wall Street, with Lyndi Harker, over The Adventurers.

2) Barbaric Nature over The Dungeon Masters.

3) Evil Empire over The All-Pros.

4) Conquer & Command over The Gladiators. Before the match, Countess offers The Gladiators “a seat at BASILISK’s table in the Mansion of the Serpent” if they will step away from this match. They respond by clotheslining C&C. They go after Countess, but she flees.
5) In a Ladies Title match, Madame Tiki and Gothica went to a 30-minute draw. Mother Russia comes out and says this match should’ve been hers as she just beat Gothica last week.

6) Walls Street, with Harker, over Barbaric Nature.

7) Conquer & Command over Evil Empire. Countess makes the same offer to EE as she did to the Gladiators. This time, DSB gives her a cheap shot before she can get away.

8) The Think Tank come out. They say they’ve pondered beating up all these teams and winning this tournament. They call out Jet Set Strutter, Pierre, or anybody else who wants to challenge them.

9) In the finals, Wall Street over Conquer & Command. Harker was with Street, but Countess was not with C&C. Wall Street have never looked better than they did in this tournament. In what has become the norm, Tycoon and Harker paid quite a lot of attention to one another to the exclusion of Yuppie. This formula somehow proved successful. Tycoon said that their “good luck charm” would bring them the tag titles. He told the Blasters to forget the past. The Dow Jones and The NasDaq are going nowhere but up for Wall Street.

[cotguy130]

Superstar Saturday 7/7/84
Empire Gardens
Great Crowd
982/41/**


Al is backstage preparing for an interview when Helga Schmidt runs up. She says that she has to win three matches in three weeks to get the title shot at Ladies Night. She begs for the chance. Finally, she asks Al if she can pick one opponent of the roster and face her three times. If she can beat the same opponent all three times, then she gets the title shot. Al agrees, saying “there’s no one on this roster that you can beat once, much less three times.”

1) Valley Girl over Glam. After the match, VG calls out Average Guy for putting Princess Starbright in harm’s way by having her at ringside.

2) Guy comes out. He tells VG that he absolutely agrees with her and he apologizes. He says that she insisted, but he’s putting his foot down and not allowing it any more. VG thanks him and leaves. Guy then references the Ace Arcadium casino video. He says he’s not sure what’s going on with Ace, but his suspension is over and the office hasn’t heard anything besides that video. If Ace thinks that dyeing his hair and slamming down playing cards is supposed to intimidate Average Guy, then he doesn’t know Guy very well.

3) Cesar Sleaze and Chief Buffalo are with Helga. She says she’s through with both of them and leaves. Sleaze utters a string of censored expletives. Chief tells him to back off, as Helga’s got a lot on her mind. Sleaze says that she used us both, and Buffalo says, with a waggle of the eyebrows, that “she can use me anytime.” Sleaze looks like he’s about to throw up.

4) The Think Tank, with The Thinker, over all three Van Winkles with Franz.

5) Bug Buster over Brit Buckingham. Buster says he’s tired of wrestling the same guys over and over waiting on the Insectoids to show back up. Al comes out and says that he agrees. If the Insectoids don’t make an appearance next week, they will be fired and Bug Buster will press criminal charges for theft of property.

6) Zeke Mullet over El Presidente. Zeke offers EP his hand after the match. EP accepts the handshake, but then kicks Zeke in the groin.

7) Cutthroat Carter, with Ryan Regret, over Haka Tonga.

8) Helga Schmidt comes out. She says she’s ready for her first win on her way to the Ladies Title. She introduces her opponent, Bambi Bambino. Al comes out and asks who she is. The deal was that Helga had to pick somebody off the roster. Helga tells him to check the roster. WoW signed Bambi to a short-term contract last time they were in New York as they thought they might be short a few ladies. Al said for the match to go on, but he was verifying Helga’s story. Helga easily defeated Bambi to get her first required win.

9) Arizona Chance over Skullgore and Dark Invader in a three-way match. Jessie Wild comes out and asks Chance if he wants that Cruiserweight Title rematch in two weeks. Chance agrees and the two men chake hands.

[cotguy130]

Sunday Night Slam 7/15/85
Golden Plaza
Sold Out
1257/40/**

Mr. Tycoon and Lyndi Harker are talking when Yuppie VP walks up. Yuppie says they should be getting ready for the Tag Team Invitational. Tycoon tells him not to worry as they will be winning the tournament and the Tag Titles. Harker tells Yuppie to leave her and Tycoon alone. After Yuppie leaves, Harker tells Tycoon that she’s tired of people running her life. Honest Al tried, and now Yuppie’s trying. Tycoon says not to worry about Yuppies, as he will come around. Sgt. Shipley walks up to Harker and ask why she’s hanging out with this entitled jerk. Tycoon grabs Shipley, and Harker’s about to hit her when Zen steps in and blocks it. Tycoon and Zen start trading punches. Security moves in, and Al tells them to take it to the ring

1) Mr. Tycoon and Lyndi Harker over Zen and Sgt. Shipley. Harker pins Zen.

2) The Valedictorian, with The Thinker, over Damon Van Winkle with Franz Van Winkle.

3) Helga Schmidt came out for her second must-win match. Her opponent was, per her deal with Al, Bambi Bambino. Helga won again. Al came out and said he was rescinding the deal. Helga didn’t deserve a title shot, and he never thought she would sink this low to get one. Helga screamed about the unfairness. Bambi said that she would win next time and stop Helga’s plans. Madame Tiki came out and asked Al to let her go ahead. She has no doubt Helga will win since she thinks Bambi’s getting a payoff to tank the matches. Al says if that’s ever proven then both will be blackballed. Tiki said that I hope she succeeds so that I can crush her in about 10 seconds and send her packing for good. Helga said that Tiki would regret that. Al told Helga that he wants to see her squashed, so the deal stands. Helga yelled, “you’ll rue the day you crossed Helga Schmidt.”

4) Papa Choppa over Crash.

5) War Hawk, Danger Zone, and Freedom Fighter came out. FF said that right here, right now, they are declaring all-out war on BASILISK. By the end of 1984, that word will no longer be spoken within the WoW organization. There are others in on the plan as well, so BASILISK should be making any assumptions as to the nature of their enemy. War Hawk adds that he doesn’t want to hear any of that pretentious talk about them being “a force of nature”, or a “like a mountain or the ocean or whatever other nonsense they’ve been brainwashed to spew. Mountains can be blown to bits by C4. Instead of a sea, they’re more like a contaminated pond, and those can be drained dry. BASILISK are people, very evil people, but just people. They can be stopped just like people. Their fancy threats are meaningless words.”

6) Conquer & Command, with Countess, over The All-Pros. Countess mocked War Hawk’s prior statements. She said that everything they’ve ever said, every threat they’ve ever unleashes, has been gospel. War Hawk and his sad little hero pals know it’s true, but their egos won’t let them admit it. BASILISK won the war with WoW they day they arrived without firing a shot. She said that she’s meeting with the Supreme Serpent later in the week, and she expects to return with news for WoW that will chill it to the core.

7) Bug Buster met with Al. He reminded Al of his threat to the Insectoids last week. Al said he does remember, and the Insectoids responded in such a way as meet the spirit of the law if not the letter. They sent a video, and WoW lawyers have decided that will meet Al’s criteria the way he phrased it. We cut to a video of the Buggs standing in a dark room with BB’s exterminator pack between them. Mark Bugg says “this weapon of mass destruction cannot be allowed to exist any longer. It’s presence is an affront to insectae everywhere. Bug Buster, your name, your costume, your gimmick, is a walking, talking insult to those like us. The fact your father spent a career murdering our kind makes us vomit. We’ve met Al’s requirement and we appeared on the show. Please don’t threaten us again, either of you. Buster, we will be back soon and we will give you one final chance to save your family heirloom. Oppose us, and you will watch it burn.”

8) In a WoW title match, Average Guy defeated The Flawless One with the Thinker.

9) In a three-way Ladies’ title match, Madame Tiki defeats Gothica and Mother Russia. Helga Schmidt comes down to ringside during the match. Her presence creates a distraction which almost costs Tiki the title. Helga sits with the announcers for the rest of the match and provides commentary. Tiki comes to the announcer table and Helga slaps Tiki again before running away.

[cotguy130]

Weekend Wrasslin’ 7/21/84
Rassletorium
Sold Out
1257/40/**

1) Jet Set Strutter picks up an easy win over Vladimir the Cruel. Afterwards, The Think Tank come and surround the ring on all sides. JSS just laughs, and this infuriates The Thinker. Suddenly, Pierre comes out of the crowd. He picks up Thinker and tosses him to Strutter who slaps on the 6-Figure Leglock. The Think Tank attack Pierre and he tosses them around like rag dolls. JSS finally lets Thinker go. Exotic Rick grabs Thinker and helps him out of the ring. He has to be carried to the back.

2) The Dobermans over 8-Bit.

3) Freedom Fighter over Ninja Shadow by DQ when Conquer & Command attack. The American Heroes fight them off.

4) Helga Schmidt comes out for her last must-win match. Tiki sits at commentary. Schmidt easily pins Bambi Bambino. She tells Tiki “see you next week.” Tiki enters the ring and splashes Bambino. She says that Schmidt’s got 4 of those coming, 2 for each time she’ slapped her. Al pops in and says he can’t believe that he’s putting on a P4V with Helga Schmidt in the main event.

5) Spunky Sparks calls out the Queen of Mean. She tells the Queen that she’s tired of her bullying. When she got here, The Queen made fun of her clothes, her shortness, how young she was, just everything. They’ve been fighting since then, and they’ve both won some. Spunky says she wants to know once and for all that she’s the better person and the better wrestler. She says the one things she’s worried about since her debut was getting in a cage match. In order to make her point to herself and The Queen, it has to happen in a cage. The Queen accepts the challenge, and says using Spunky’s greatest fear against her will be doubly sweet.

6) In a non-title match, the Blade Blasters defeat The Frat Boy Bullies.

7) Haka Tonga, with Professor Gigawatt, over Cutthroat Carter, with Ryan Regret.

8) Chief Buffalo and Cesar Sleaze are arguing about Helga. Chief says he will be pulling for her next week. Sleaze says she doesn’t have a chance in Hell, and he hopes she gets squashed into a tiny little puddle. Buffalo asks why Sleaze turned on her like he did. She helped get Sleaze two title shots. “Which,” sleaze replied, “lead to two title losses. All she truly cared about was her shot.” Sleaze goes to walk off and Buffalo jumps him from behind. He crushes Sleaze against a cement wall. “That’s what Helga’s going to do to Tiki, and then to you, jerk.”

9) Arizona Chance regains the Cruiserweight Title with a win over Jessie Wild.

[cotguy130]

Ladies Night 7/29/84
Silver Stadium
Sold Out
10255/44/**

1) In the steel cage match, The Queen of Mean defeats Spunky Sparks. Spunky seems tentative immediately upon seeing and entering the cage. She adjusts as the match progresses, but The Queen’s just too strong.

2) Valley Girl over Gothica and Mother Russia in a three-way match. Afterwards, Mother Russia challenges Gothica to a one-on-one match.

3) In the annual Ladies’ Night battle royale, the participants are:

Aurora/Chaka Crass/Countess/Glam/Gorgon Tokoro/Lyndi Harker/Mynx/Sgt. Shipley/Princess Starbright (who had been cleared to wrestle just 2-hours prior)/eventual winner, yet again…. Auntie Voodoo.

Countess guarantees that Auntie will win with the title with the match earned from this win.

4) Terry and Damon Van Winkle are backstage talking to Madame Tiki when they are attacked by The Valedictorian and Exotic Rick. The Thinker, on crutches from Strutter’s 6-Figure Leglock, tells Tiki to stay back. When help shows up, The Think Tank retreat.

5) As expected, Madame Tiki crushes Helga Schmidt to retain the WoW Ladies Title. Helga is accompanied by Bambi Bambino. The entire match lasts about 12 seconds, including the three-count. Tiki gives Helga two more splashes. As she’s setting up for a third one, Bambino throws herself over Helga. Tiki splashes them both and rolls them out of the ring. BASILISK music plays. Countess, Auntie Voodoo, and Gorgon Tokoro come to the ring and confront Tiki. Countess again guarantees victory for Auntie. Tiki says that Auntie is a tough opponent, but she’s come up short a lot. In the meantime, the cage is being lowered. We see Skullgore has commandeered the controls. Tiki notices this and tries to escape, but is jumped from behind. They work Tiki over, then handcuff her to the cage. Auntie throws several odd-colored powders onto Tiki. She pours something that looks like blood over her head. As this is going on, Teeny Norman runs to ringside with bolt cutters. He cuts the lock on the cage door and climbs in. Tokoro drops him immediately as Auntie’s ceremony continues. Valley Girl and Princess Starbright run down, but Gorgon is blocking the cage with the bolt cutters as a weapon. VG and Starbright start climbing the cage, but Countess knocks them down with her staff. Norman finally starts moving again, and VG throws a chair over the cage, and Norman manages to catch it. He blasts all three BASILISK ladies, but Gorgon shrugs it off. This does enable VG and Starbright to climb into the cage. VG drops from the top of the cage onto Tokoro, and Gorgon is flattened. Outside the cage, Mynx and Aurora have finally wrested the controls from Skullgore. Norman cuts the handcuffs loose and assists Tiki. The rest of the ladies run the BASILISK contingent off.